


Hamilton & Co. Texts

by FluffyTheUnicorn, orphan_account



Series: Hamilton Fics [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, But don't worry next chapter is coming soon, Co-Written, F/F, F/M, Gay, Hamilton - Freeform, Highschool AU, Homophobia in chapter 4, I like this fic a lot better with my glasses off, Internalized Homophobia, Its so bad i am so sorry, Lesbian, M/M, Modern AU, More Chapters to Come, Multi, Peggy is like 13, Polyamory, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, Updates infrequently af, We only added usnavi so we could make shitty jokes, You know sir, fluff?, hahahah i add angst to the end of each chapter please forgive me, more characters too, oh my god I am so sorry, small angst, text fic, you put your glasses back on and face the discourse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7209263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyTheUnicorn/pseuds/FluffyTheUnicorn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Me and my best friend FluffyTheUnicorn decided to co-write a Hamilton text fic.</p><p>Its complete utter trash.</p><p>Forgive us.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I said, this is co-written by me and FluffyTheUnicorn, go check her out!
> 
> By the way, Peggy is like, 13 in this fic, and everyone else is 15-17
> 
> rip.

**Chapter 1**

_memelion added turtles, bread-stick, horse, A.Burr, 'Angel’ica, deservesbetter, and Pegarita to this conversation_

memelion- here come dat boi

A.Burr- Stop.

turtles- alex why did you add us we already have a group chat

memelion- but burr isn't in it

turtles- since when did you start caring about burr

A.Burr- Wait what.

bread-stick- Alexander mon ami tell us the truth

bread-stick- also

bread-stick- what is a 'here come dat boi’

Pegarita- oh laf you poor misguided baguette 

horse- its a meme you doofus

bread-stick- 'meme’?

A.Burr- Okay Alex seriously why did you add me I was talking to Theo.

memelion- i don't want you turning into a husk with your only social interaction being theo and ass eater Jefferson

A.Burr- I do also talk to Madison you know.

memelion- yeah sure whatever

memelion- okay laf, let me introduce you to *waves hands* _urban dictionary_

memelion- meme  
(noun) 

1 : an idea, belief or belief system, or pattern of behavior that spreads throughout a culture either vertically by cultural inheritance (as by parents to children) or horizontally by cultural acquisition (as by peers, information media, and entertainment media)

turtles- did you actually just copy and paste that from urban dictionary 

memelion- yes I did, do you have a problem with that, we need to educate our french friend

horse- okay but if laf starts memeing i’m blaming you

turtles- but whenever you do shit like this he keeps on repeating it

remember when you introduced him to anime

horse- don't start him plEASE

bread-stick- did somebody say ANIME

bread-stick- wHATS UP CRIMINALS

horse- bABE P L E A SE

A.Burr- I'm assuming this is a daily occurrence with you four.

horse- Yes

memelion- yea

turtles- unfortunately 

bread-stick- wHATS UP PEOPLE 

'Angel'ica- Eliza and I try to control them but it's no use.

deservesbetter- burr please help them

Pegarita- what the heck is wrong with you people

'Angel'ica- Peggy please you're as bad as the rest of us

memelion- iN OTHER NEWS

memelion- I BEAT JEFFERSONS LAME ASS IN THE DEBATE TODAY

turtles- Yes, thank you for telling us the 100th fucking time

memelion- I only told you asshat

deservesbetter- actually…

deservesbetter- _memelion, today 4:37 PM -  
> elIZA I KICKED JEFFERSONS SLIMEY ASS TODAY_

Pegarita- what is life

'Angel'ica- Death, my dear Peggy, death.

Pegarita- life is not death

memelion- okAY BUT CAN WE SERIOUSLY TALK ABOUT HOW I ABSOLUTLY **DESTROYED** TJEFFS TODAY

memelion- LIKE

memelion- WE WERE DISCUSSING WHETHER OR NOT TO ADD A STUDENT RUN BANK

memelion-- AND JEFFERSONS STUPID POINT WAS 'itL taKE aWAAy frOm our edUcAationaL tuiTion’ 

bread-stick- can i talk about anime

memelion- LeT ME FINISH BREAD FUCKER

bread-stick- i do not fuck bread

memelion- AND I JUST

memelion- KICKED HIS POINTS INTO THE DUST

turtles- Yes, and we are all very proud of you

turtles- but have you done anything besides rant about Jefferson for the past few days??

no.

memelion- im filing a divorce 

bread-stick- so there’s this one anime

Bread-stick- it’s kinda cool

horse- Does it involve. Horses.

bread-stick- No it involves martians and giant robots

deservesbetter- Laf am I so sorry but you sound like a lame 6th grader who sits alone at recess right now

bread-stick- i was trying to get alex to stop talking about jefferson sheesh

memelion- but Jefferson must be talked about??

memelion- and who else but I? The great Alexander, to roast him.

turtles- you can't even turn on the oven in my house 

memelion- iTS AN OLD OVEN OKAY GOD

memelion-- i cAN ROAST WITHOUT SOME FUCKING FIIRE

A.Burr- Alexander, please.

memelion- BURr iM trYING TO BE DECISIVE.

Pegarita- you people are weird

deservesbetter- Peggy

don't lie

You are a hot memester and we all know it

Pegarita- yeah i’m a better memester than all of you

memelion- are you trying to challenge me

Pegarita- yes

turtles- Peggy if you respect your life and pride don't try to challenge Alex to anything 

he’ll fucking murder you 

Pegarita- you’re just saying that because you are gay

deservesbetter- pegGY PpLL EASE

turtles- THE GAYEST SACK OF SHIT YA’LL HAVE EVER SEEN, YEAH. ME!!

Pegarita- i’ll rek you gay scrublords 

memelion- Peggy can you even make memes

memelion- behold, simple child, https://youtu.be/5gMMd8HWOuA

turtles- my crippling depression in a nutshell

horse- Alex that's a low quality meme even in my standards

memelion- sHUT UP AT LEAST I TRY

Pegarita- that’s some weakass crap alex.

Pegarita- behold [insert good meme here]

memelion- yoU CANT JUST SAY YOU HAVE GOOD MEMES THATS CHEATING

memelion- I PUT EFFORT INTO MY FINE PRODUCTS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

turtles- 'effort’

 

> Made with VivaVideo

memelion- i am calling. The police

Pegarita- you put as much effort into that video as i did to type [insert good meme here]

'Angel'ica- peggy my sweet flower child leave these hooligans

Pegarita- no

'Angel'ica- you are 13

they've corrupted you already

Pegarita- that’s fine, dear Angelica

A.Burr- Peggy, from what I've seen of these asshats, yeah you should probably leave.

memelion- Burr?? Cussing??? Has there been an alignment of the planets I've missed????

Pegarita- hey at least i don’t cuss i’m a good child

'Angel'ica- _Pegarita, today 6:32 PM  
> that's some weakass crap alex._

Pegarita- I could have said that’s some weakass shit be proud, bitch

'Angel'ica- MARGARITA PEGGY SCHUYLER 

IF YOU CURSE ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE OUT

I WILL NOT ALLOW THESE MEN TO TURN YOU

memelion- she called you bitch im whEeZinG

Pegarita- i’m sorry angelica please don’t hurt me

turtles- why did we let her in here in the first place

memelion- uhm..WELL..

SHE MIGHT HAVE BRIBED ME WITH SOME CANDY OKAY

turtles- ARE YOU SERIOUS

memelion- MILKY WAYS CANT BE PASSED UP, JOHN

turtles- MILKY WAYS ARE SHIT

memelion- i am huRT

deservesbetter- unrest in the Milky-Way™ fandom

Pegarita- alex you weren’t supposed to tell anyone

memelion- Peggy, I need to go grieve for my dead boyfriend because im about to fuCKING MURDER HIM WITH A BUTTER KNIFE.

Pegarita- please don’t kill john  
He’s cool.

memelion- he is an uncool sack of shit now how could you say that John

A.Burr- This might be shocking but I agree with Alexander for once. Milky-Ways are quite good.

Pegarita- holy crapparoni

A.Burr- Though 'uncool sack of shit’ would not be my words of choice.

memelion- _Pegarita, today 6:54 PM  
> holy crapparoni_

wHEEZINg 

Pegarita- no more milky ways for you

memelion- bUT whY

horse- Alex, you have like, 20 milky ways in your locker

memelion- i need the energy 

turtles- at least it's better than coffee

Pegarita- i’m cutting you off

memelion- ASOAOSIAISK

memelion- nOT MY MILKY WAY DEALER

turtles- Alex you sound like a fucking crack addict im wheezing

Pegarita- I’M NOT BECOMING A DRUG DEALER AT THE AGE OF 13

'Angel’ica- nO YOU ARE NOT

Pegarita- I AM BECOMING 

A

HOT. MEME.

'Angel'ica- nO!!!??!

bread-stick- oh mon dieu you are all hopeless

horse- says the weeaboo

horse- ash!!:+:)mKla!also

memelion- What the fuckening

horse- Laf might have just strangled me but I'm fine

turtles- the smiley face in there dear lord bhahaha

bread-stick- no one insults my anime

memelion- feisty frenchman™

A.Burr- I'm going to bed, goodnight.

memelion- goodnight?? Hhaaaa, what a joke! I havent slept properly since the beginning of whatever month it is

turtles- its may Alexander, may.

Pegarita- maybe you should get a good night’s sleep

deservesbetter- SPEAKING OF sleep

deservesbetter- Peggy its time for bed

Pegarita- i don’t deserve this

deservesbetter- well it's currently 7:30 PM and you have a field trip in the morning.

Pegarita- well, my friends at school never go to bed at 7:30

deservesbetter- Well, are your friends chipper and awake in the morning?

Pegarita- actually yes

memelion- im stealing their energy K thank Bai

turtles- you're not a fucking demon Alex

You are also not a 12 year old

Pegarita- alexander plz

deservesbetter- I won't make you pancakes in the morning if you don't go to bed

Pegarita- hah joke’s on you i know how to make pancakes

Pegarita- my friend taught me how

deservesbetter- when??

Pegarita- about a week ago, when my friend tried to make some in there pancake maker thingy but they caught it on fire

horse- I think you mean a waffle iron

Pegarita- yeah, that thing.

'Angel'ica- Peggy, dad wouldn't even let you turn on the stove to make some, so, no, you can't make any.

Pegarita- I could bribe daddy with gummy worms

turtles- where do you get all of this candy??

Pegarita- I have my people

memelion- middle school candy cartel™

deservesbetter- okay but like seriously please go to sleep sis

Pegarita- uuugggh fiiinnnne

deservesbetter- Thank you, goodnight Peggy

Pegarita- night!!

_Pegarita has gone offline_

horse- wait a minute

horse- why didn't burr go offline when he said he was going to bed??

bread-stick- hes either talking to Theo or lurking I bet

memelion- oh my god fucking rip me

memelion- if he's lurking then he's seen all the shit we’ve done

A.Burr- I am not lurking, Alexander.

A.Burr- I just got delayed on sleeping.

turtles- define ‘delayed’

A.Burr- Theodosia.

turtles- sappy love affair?

A.Burr- Can it, Laurens.

horse- it’s not even that late why are you people sleeping

A.Burr- Alright, so I might have used sleeping as an excuse to get away so I could talk to Theo, but who cares, right?

memelion- why do you even talk to Theo so much, isn't she dating someone else?

A.Burr- …

memelion- ooh, tough subject.

turtles- _Alexander_

memelion- what?

turtles- _actually shut it_

memelion- er, sorry burr

A.Burr- Sure.

_A.Burr has gone offline_

memelion- shit.

turtles- erugh, Alex, you really need to learn when to shut up

memelion- i get it, I get it.

memelion- y’know what, im going to bed.

_memelion has gone offline_

bread-stick- oh cher

bread-stick- John, aren't you and alexander at your house right now?

turtles- he left earlier.

bread-stick- il va bien, cher

turtles- I think I'll turn in early, goodnight laf

bread-stick- bonne nuit, Laurens.

_Turtles has gone offline_

'Angel'ica-- yeesh.

deservesbetter- yikes

horse- yikers

bread-stick- beurk

horse- why you gotta be so french

bread-stick- because I was born?? In France??

horse- i know it’s great

bread-stick- I speak French when I'm upset okay Leave me alone

horse- no let me hug you you fucking French fry <3

'angel'ica-- why you gotta be so gay

horse- shush

horse- at least I'm not single

'angel'ica- The Schuyler Sisters are better than you

horse- what is it a brand now

Deservesbetter- apparently 

horse- The Schuyler Bitches™

'angel'ica-- I’M GOING TO FIGHT YOU

'angel'ica-- PEGGY IS THIRTEEN AND IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE CALLED A SCHUYLER BITCH

Deservesbetter-- chronic wheezing

'angel'ica-- I CAN HEAR YOU FROM THE OTHER ROOM 

'angel'ica-- I CAN HEAR...

PEGG??Y??

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD SHES STILL AWAKE IMMA SLAP HER

'angel'ica- OKAY SO I WALKED INTO HER ROOM AND APPARENTLY SHE HAS A SECOND PROFILE???

horse- to avoid you guys i bet

'angel'ica- BUT ITS NINE AT NIGHT SHE SHOULD BE ASLEEP

horse- you guys aren’t asleep

horse- peggy’s friends aren’t asleep

'angel'ica-- BUT WE'RE HIGH SCHOOLERS

SHES A MIDDLE SCHOOLER

horse- you guys act like she’s five

'angel'ica-- i wANT HER TO HAVE A GOOD FUTURE AND NOT SLEEP DEPRIVED MEME FILLED NIGHTS.

horse- she’s in eighth grade she’ll be a high schooler soon

'angel'ica-- AGSOAHSOAJSSNO

horse- wow

bread-stick- mon ami please calm down 

deservesbetter- erh, Angelica is freaking out right now, I'll see you guys later

'angel'ica- PEGGY IS TOO YOUNG

horse- let her live don't crucify her please

bread-stick- can that be a meme

horse- what?

bread-stick- #letpeggylive

horse- y e s

horse- but seriously Laf and I will steal her if you two terrorize her any further

deservesbetter- Angelica and I are responsible teenagers

'Angel'ica- PEGGY IS NAGGING ME ELIZA COME HERE

deservesbetter- never mind 

deservesbetter- see you guys later

_deservesbetter has gone offline_

_'Angel’ica has gone offline_

 

horse- Laf, are you coming to bed?

bread-stick- just a minute, mon cher

_bread-stick >> imalwaysright_

bread-stick- hey can you try not to kick Alexander's ass around tommarow please

imalwaysright- Why, what's up with him?

bread-stick- he's had a rough day

imalwaysright- erugh, what is it this time

bread-stick- John's mad at him

imalwaysright- ouch.

imalwaysright- fine, I'll leave him alone, just for today, Frenchie.

bread-stick- thank you Thomas, bonne nuit

imalwaysright- bonne nuit à vous aussi

 

_bread-stick >> horse_

bread-stick- okay, im going to bed

horse- night laf

bread-stick- goodnight, amour <3

 

_bread-stick has gone offline_

_horse has gone offline_

_chat terminated_

_Goodnight._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, John, and Burr make up, and a new friend joins us in this installment of Memes™

_'Angel'ica added memelion, turtles, and A.Burr to this conversation_

 

'Angel'ica- okay nerds its make up time

'Angel'ica- Alex go first

memelion- okay so

memelion- i am very, very sorry burr

memelion- i was being an asshat.

memelion- can you forgive me?

A.Burr- Yes, I suppose.

turtles- So uh,,, that's it?

memelion- yes??

I was very tired last night I don't even know what we were talking about.

A.Burr- We all were, it’s fine.

memelion- okay, thanks Aaron

'Angel'ica- you guys are so boring what the fuck

memelion- heY I WAS TRYING TO APOLOGIZE OKAY

YOU CANT MEME WHILST BEING SERIOUS

A.Burr- Alexander was being nice for once in his life, it’s no surprise if he was being boring.

memelion- excUSE YOU??,??

I AM THE DEFINITION OF POLITE AND KIND MR BURR

I save children from burning orphanages  
you  
uh,,  
use proper grammar.

A.Burr- If you were the definition of polite and kind we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

turtles- don't rile him up pleasE

memelion- WE CAN TALK ALL WE WANT OKAy

A.Burr- John, Alexander riles himself up.

turtles- tbh I think Jefferson just existing riles him up

memelion- doeS NOT  
I MEAN SURE  
HES AN ASSHOLE

BUT I CAN REMAIN CALM

See I'm calm.

turtles- _Jefferson is better than you_

memelion- sHUT IT THAT TRASHCAN CANT FUNCTION WITHOUT USING MADISON AS HIS BACKUP SHIELD.

A.Burr- Jefferson isn’t even that bad.

memelion- SAYS YOU BURR

A.Burr- Then again, I don’t fight Jefferson at every moment I can.

memelion- he constantly seems like he wants to fight tho????  
I can put up a fight so why not fight him??,?,?

A.Burr- He doesn’t want to fight, Alexander. He just likes debating.

memelion- debating is sort of fighting?g?  
John back me up

turtles- Jefferson is an asshole sometimes but yeah tbh Alex you just like to fight people

memelion- I HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY OKaY I NEED TO USE IT ON SOMEONE

A.Burr- You don’t need to use it to fight.

memelion- asoaosnaos!\\!$;?NSKS

aahh  
just leave me alone burr you cyber bully

A.Burr- I’m just trying to help you.

memelion- you arent very helpful ahsjak

'Angel'ica- okay so you guys have basically made up so can we go back to the main chat now?

turtles- yeah please

memelion- yes I am getting claustrophobic in this small chat

A.Burr- You can't become claustrophobic in a chatroom??

memelion- you are starting to use two question marks  
You are learning quick young grasshopper

A.Burr- Ugh. I didn’t mean to use two question marks.

memelion- sure, sure, I'll get you burr, just you wait.

A.Burr- That’s my line.

turtles- ???

A.Burr- I tell people to wait.

memelion- so do I?? You can just copyright it.

A.Burr- I actually wait for things, unlike you, Alexander.

'Angel'ica- aagh okay this is turning into discourse again I'm adding the others

_'Angel'ica added bread-stick, horse, Pegarita, and deservesbetter to this conversation_

horse- hello yes this is Bob's butcher shop you kill em we shrill em

memelion- what the fuck

Pegarita- my friends hello

horse- wait Peggy aren't you supposed to be on a field trip?

Pegarita- i am, i have data you know

horse- ugh

‘Angel’ica- PEGGY YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO TEXT AT SCHOOL

Pegarita- we’re on the bus

'Angel'ica- STILL

Pegarita- the teacher said we could get on our phones

deservesbetter- my little rule abider.

Pegarita- you know me, i wouldn’t text if the teacher said we couldn’t

deservesbetter- of course

memelion- okay but what was that butcher shop thing herc like the fucK??

bread-stick- it is an,, unfortunate running joke between us two

memelion- butcher shop jokes??

bread-stick- herc making fake phone greetings 

turtles- ugh

horse- it’s great though

bread-stick- I do not enjoy waking up to 'this is Tom's drug cartel you sniff em we diff em’

horse- but it’s funny

bread-stick- only sometimes.

Horse- this is Herc’s free hug service, there is no slogan, just hugs

bread-stick- ugh

horse- you know you love me <3

'Angel'ica- _bARFS_  
affECTION  
EW

horse- you Peggy and burr are the only singles here.

Pegarita- please if i was dating someone angelica would kill me

memelion- speaking of Peggy and dating..  
I have dirt on you pegs

Pegarita- like what??

memelion- I saw you hanging out with this kid at school, and you went to his house 

Pegarita- do you mean the guy who tried to teach me how to make pancakes

memelion- yes, that one

Pegarita- Oh, that’s usnavi. He’s cool.

'Angel'ica- Usnavi?? Isn't he that orphan kid??

Pegarita- yeah but he’s really cool, he lives with his abuela 

memelion- 'cool’ 'friend’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pegarita- alexander i am not dating Usnavi

memelion- are you sure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pegarita- i’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend  
And it’s not me

memelion- become polysexual ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

'Angel'ica- alEX NO WHY

iM WHEEZING

Pegarita- i wouldn’t date usnavi if he was the last guy on earth

memelion- **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

Pegarita- i’m literally sitting next usnavi on the bus would you like to talk to him

memelion- can usnavi see you texting

Pegarita- he knows i’m texting but he isn’t peering over my phone, he’s looking at his own phone jeez

deservesbetter- omFG Alex whY

Pegarita- im gonna add him

memelion- nO WAIT

_Pegarita added cafè caliente to this conversation_

 

cafè caliente- Peggy we are sitting next to each other why are you texting me

Pegarita- my friends think we are dating 

memelion- nnO WE DONT AAHHAAHAHH AH HELLO PEGGYS FRIEND HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING SIR

cafè caliente- what the hell

'Angel'ica- Peggy your friends CURSE??

Pegarita- they also don’t go to sleep at 7:30

cafè caliente- that is true, I went to bed at like, midnight last night 

Pegarita- but like Usnavi is cool and is always awake

Pegarita- he also constantly drinks coffee

memelion- okay I am now your friend I need coffee, Peggy stopped giving me milky ways and I'm running low

bread-stick- he ate 8 this morning already 

A.Burr- What the hell Alex.

Pegarita- I had to cut you off 

cafè caliente- well if you want i could give some of my coffee candy to Peggy and she can bring it to you

memelion- coffee??? Candy???

memelion- there is a god???

Pegarita- it’s not milky ways so i can give you the coffee candy

horse- id strongly advise against that but  
Alex has been acting sluggish and tbh its terrifying 

horse- you should've seen him this morning

bread-stick- he was,, how do you say,, a slug

horse- he could barely close his locker

turtles- it was kinda funny lmao

memelion- i wAS SLEEP DEPRIVED AND LOW ON SUGAR DONt JUDGE ME

Pegarita- it’s my job to keep you awake just not with milky ways

memelion- just give me a blood transfusion but with coffee and I'm solid. 

Pegarita- do not inject coffee into your blood

memelion- how about I do _anyway_

Pegarita- i won’t give you the coffee candy

memelion- _then I'll just have usnavi come over to my house_

cafè caliente- I will do no such thing amigo

memelion- i'll,,, uh,, give you money??

cafè caliente- I don't want any i don't even KNOW you

memelion- what if its

_Drug money_

deservesbetter- what the fuck no.

Pegarita- usnavi is better than you alex

memelion- but I'm a highschooler! That inherently makes me 10x cooler than any middle schooler

Pegarita- lies, usnavi is cool, he doesn’t turn me into a candy dealer

horse- okay seriously how the FUCK do middle schoolers get so much candy

Pegarita- I’m sworn to secrecy, my dear Hercules.

memelion- like I said, middle school candy cartel™

Pegarita- yeah but the person who hands me my stock made me promise not to tell anyone who they are, because otherwise they will stop giving me candy.

'Angel'ica- stock?? 

memelion- dark days ahead for the middle school candy economy 

Pegarita- I deal candy out a lot more that you think

'Angel'ica- but why?? Does usnavi do coffee?? Why didn't we have this when I was in middle school??

Pegarita- because reasons. Usnavi is a coffee candy dealer, it’s really funny how many people just sneak up to him in math class and say “hit me up homie”

turtles- drug dealer school

Pegarita- shut your mouth, do not question the ethics of selling candy in the back of the school at lunch

memelion- im calling the police 

memelion- UNLESS you get me some coffee candy

Pegarita- yeah yeah, i can get you some coffee candy, just don’t shut down my business.

bread-stick- what about some for laffeyete mon ami?

Pegarita- yeah you’re cool i can get you some candy

deservesbetter- j e s u s c h r i s t

cafè caliente- its the only reliable way to make money around here.

Pegarita- angelica and eliza, just you wait, i might get money for my college tuition by selling all this candy

A.Burr- Again, my line.

memelion- we went over this burr you can't copyright a word

A.Burr- The Fine-bros beg to differ.

memelion- oohhmmmyyygggooooddd  
Those assholes

horse- wow burr is right for once

though that's an outdated reference. -10 to burr

memelion- sHUT it herC  
YOU DONT KNOW SHIt

A.Burr- he knows how not to type in all caps

memelion- uh excuse you burr I didn't type in ALL caps  
Some things are not capitalized

A.Burr- Okay so the s and e and whatnot weren't capitalized, so what?

Pegarita- are you seriously arguing over capitalization of texts

memelion- yes

A.Burr- Yes we are Peggy, capitalising is very underrated in this day and age.

turtles- encyclopedia burr™

cafè caliente- why are you arguing over capitalization of texts? Is this some inside joke i won’t get?

memelion- we have various inside jokes that last either a minute or a couple of days

bread-stick- #letpeggylive

Pegarita- o h m y g o d

cafè caliente- pegs explain

Pegarita- i

Let me go find it

_Quote, Yesterday-_

>bread-stick- can that be a meme

>horse- what?

>bread-stick- #letpeggylive

>horse- y e s

cafè caliente- thank you, pegs

memelion- he's got a nickname for you 

im on to you Peggy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

cafè caliente- i am not dating peggy???????????

‘Angel’ica- ALEX PLEASE AAAJAJSJA

Pegarita- AAA ALEX IM GOING TO STAB YOU

turtles- peggy that's my job

memelion- that is a fact, except he doesn't actually stab me, he bites me ;3c

turtles- aLEX N O S T O P

cafè caliente- i don’t know what’s worse, being accused of dating peggy, or just alex in general

horse- don't share youR FUCKING S E X L I F E WITH MINORS

‘Angel’ica- PEGGY AND USNAVI ARE CHILDREN  
CHILDREN

memelion- he also scratches me but we don't talk about that

turtles- IM LE AVING Y OU

cafè caliente- dios mio peggy and me aren't children, but alex, for fuck’s sake, just don’t

A.Burr- *Peggy and **I**

memelion- burr plz we know you are a closeted memester just let the kids have fun

cafè caliente- we aren’t kids 

memelion- well 13 is close enough

cafè caliente- I’m 14.

memelion- Peggy I didn't know you were into older guys  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Pegarita- please i wouldn’t date usnavi if he was the last guy on earth

cafè caliente- I am hurt

Pegarita- usnavi you are literally a child  
i would not date a child

cafè caliente- _you are younger than me_

Pegarita- and more mature 

deservesbetter- _l i e s_

_Pegarita, Yesterday-_

> Pegarita- i’ll rek you gay scrublords 

 

>> _'mature’_

Pegarita- Fine, at least i don’t make my sister go to bed at 7:30, Ms. Slightly Older Schuyler Sister.

deservesbetter- you need the sleep

cafè caliente- 7:30PM???? I didn't know your sisters were such _monsters_

Pegarita- can i just sleep at your house where i can go to bed at 10 like everyone else does

deservesbetter- but you went to bed at like midnight last night

Pegarita- you don’t know that

deservesbetter- yes I would know because I was awake too and saw you online

Pegarita- well, I was doing things,, that needed to be done

memelion- 'things’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

'done’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Pegarita- save me usnavi

turtles- aLEX that is It im bREAKING Up wiTh yoU

Pegarita- usnavi is my only friend now goodbye im blocking all of you  
ESPECIALLY ALEX

memelion- well the subtext is obviously there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

turtles- im deleting myself from existence 

Pegarita- alex why are you this way

memelion- since I've basically grown up with crippling depression this is the only way I've learned to deal with it

Pegarita- oh.

turtles- alex you still have crippling depression 

memelion- yes and its g r e a t

cafè caliente- dude do you need a hug

memelion- i mean I already have John who is trying to kill me right now so

cafè caliente- i’ve had some pretty shitty™ experiences so if you need advice from a “child” you know where to find me

memelion- **wipes tears away** Peggy how did you get such great friends

pegarita- well actually I met usnavi when he tried to sell me coffee candy before I was in the candy business 

cafè caliente- she didn’t buy any i’m still salty

bread-stick- alright I was out getting some frozen yogurt for herc and I and what the h e l l happened 

memelion- m e m e s a n d d e p r e s s i o n

bread-stick- i  
Are you okay

memelion- im fine lmao

turtles- congratulations! Your Alex has evolved into- Depressed Little Shit!

‘Angel’ica- john get your gay boyfriend some ice cream

horse- yeah you'd better hug the shit out of him or I'll strangle you at school tomorrow 

Pegarita- Okay we are actually there me and usnavi gotta go peace

A.Burr- **Usnavi and I. I am going to fucking scream.**

memelion- burr, my sweet sunflower child, cursing

Im so proud of you 

cafè caliente- pegs read that and said “i’m fucking done”  
HAHa i’m dead

'Angel'ica- okay kiddos go scuttle off don't be around us anymore we are cancer

horse- ^

cafè caliente- PEGGY IS STRANGLING ME TELL ABUELA I LOVE HER

pegarita- Haoak(}€™¢}mjslsk

horse- ah, yes, the phone strangle 

Pegarita- before usnvai kills me for something i just said i must tell you that ANGELICA AND ELIZA ARE THE BEST SISTERS EVER PEACE

deservesbetter- okay ily too please don't die

cafè caliente- AaAhsjbye

_cafè caliente has gone offline  
pegarita has gone offline_

'Angel'ica- okay so that happened

Memelion- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

'Angel'ica- mmm im about ready to fucking strangle you 

Memelion- i have john to strangle me don’t worry

horse- fucking kinky

memelion- you know me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

deservesbetter- John please tell me you've done this to Alex by now 

http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aydREdV_700b.jpg

Turtles- yeah don’t worry  
He is in a ball of blankets watching finding nemo

'Angel'ica- wait really 

memelion- yes

memelion- asjajsj john wants to cuddle I gotta go

'Angel'ica- uhG aFEECTion  
okay go you lovebirds

_memelion has gone offline  
turtles has gone offline_

 

Horse- gay

bread-stick- just like you and me cher <3

horse- uugghh why u gotta be so gay 

deservesbetter- you are both very gay  
but I am the **mega gay**

horse- oh yeah you're with maria right?

deservesbetter- yes and speaking of maria she's asking for me to come over so

Horse- go be gay eliza. Go be gay.

deservesbetter- okay, bye!!

_deservesbetter has gone offline_

horse- okay so it's me, laf, Angelica, and burr left??

A.Burr- I’m talking to Theo, so I might as well leave this conversation. 

horse- alright, good luck burr 

bread-stick- **wiggles eyebrows**

A.Burr- _S t o p._

_A.Burr has gone offline_

horse- rip in shit laf 2k16

‘Angel’ica- I’m leaving you people goodbye be gay by yourselves.

horse- Angelica Single-Forever™ Schuyler 

‘Angel’ica- we are in high school we shouldn’t worry about dating

horse- says the single

'Angel'ica- im surrounded by enemies 

_'Angel'ica has gone offline_

Bread-stick- we should probably go too

Horse- yeah probably

_or we could be weird and stay in this chat forever, unbeknownst to our friends_

bread-stick- i think you need a nap or something what the hell herc 

Horse- uuuuuugh i don’t want to sleeep

bread-stick- fine then, we can watch cupcake wars if you want

horse- _imma slut for that show turn it on_

wait

 

_Turn it_  
**OFF**

**LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH**

**JUST GO FLICK**

**IT'S A NIFTY LITTLE MORMON TRICK**

Bread-stick- stop listening to that fucking musical for the love of god

horse- _I will not bom is my soul_

Bread-stick- i will sing anime theme songs at you and you can’t stop me

horse- im bREAKING up with You I can't beLIVE this 

Bread-stick- no love me

horse- only if you watch the London bootleg of bom with me

Bread-stick- okay fine

I still hate you though

horse- I love you too boo 

bread-stick- boo??

Im disgusted.

horse- <3

_Horse has gone offline_  
bread-stick has gone offline  
Chat terminated  
Goodnight. 

_..._

_1:28 AM_

_imalwaysright >> mmMads_

 

imalwaysright- madison

imalwaysright- mmaaadddiiisssoonnn

imalwaysright- **mAdIsOn**

mmMads- What!!!! 

imalwaysright- are you awake and can you talk to me

mmMads- well I'm awake now, what do you want Thomas.

imalwaysright- I need to talk about something,,,,, important 

mmMads- at this hour?

imalwaysright- yes like this is actually seriously and important

mmMads- hm, okay.

imalwaysright- okay so,, you know how Hamilton and Laurens are dating??

mmMads- im well aware

imalwaysright- and how they’re like, gay?

mmMads-..yes… what are you getting at?

imalwaysright- i sorta feel like that?????

mmMads- like what?

imalwaysright- like that i,,, 'like like’ guys????? this is really confusing and embarrassing,,, uhg.

mmMads- okay, good for you. Why'd you tell me though?

imalwaysright- well I thought you could give me advice or somethin

mmMads- ??? Why me???

imalwaysright- because didn't you date that guy in middle school?

mmMads- i

yeah..

But that was a long time ago, we’re in highschool now thomas.

imalwaysright- yes I know that but I thought you could help atleast a bit? But no apparently you want to be a jackass.

mmMads- calm down man, im not trying to be rude

And I don't have an advice for you, its not like I can magically answer all your questions about sexuality 

imalwaysright- ergh, fine. I'll see you tomorrow.

mmMads- Thomas wait

_imalwaysright has gone offline_

mmMads- dammit  
_mmMads has gone offline_

_Chat terminated  
Good morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for waiting so patiently for this next chapter. Fluffy and I been working hard the past few days, and editing has been a pain, but it's here! 
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, and hits are highly appreciated!
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> \- Mnmix & FluffyTheUnicorn
> 
> (Sorry if the chapter is being a bit wonky, Ao3 is acting up.)
> 
> ((sorry not sorry for the angst at the end))


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rap-god, shipping, and Shark Boy and Lava Girl, all in this episode of Memes™.

_memelion added A.Burr, 'Angel'ica, turtles, horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, and café caliente to this conversation_

memelion- hot tamale hot tamale give me the g a y

café caliente- why am i here again

memelion- because you are my good Angst™ friend and also you said you'd give me coffee candy do you'd better deliver

café caliente- you know there are other students that do coffee candy right 

memelion- wHO

café caliente- I'll add them if you want 

memelion- mm yeah do it

_cafè caliente added dispatch and Skills™ to this conversation_

Pegarita- what is up my homies

Skills™- im ready to fucking fight why am i here

dispatch- hi usnavi and peggy

Skills™- ay yo bro are you gonna acknowledge me??

dispatch- you already have too much attention so no sorry

‘Angel’ica- peggy why are all your friends crazy

turtles- hurrah more children to _corrupt_

memelion- stop right there

pegarita- i can't help it  
They are who they are and I have no regrets 

Skills™- so who are these people usnavi do they wanna throw down or what

cafè caliente- no, please stop trying to fight 24/7

Skills™- its in my blood amigo I can't help it

memelion- _fighting?_

_Did someone say fighting?_

turtles- f u c k

horse- I'll get the fucking blast shield 

Pegarita- YOU ARE GOING TO SCARE MY SISTERS

Skills™- oo someone who actaully has the guts to fight, let me see ya my man

memelion- im in fucking Highschool lets _go_

deservesbetter- no stop I don't want any carnage 

Skills™- you actually think age scares me off?? Ooh honey you've gotta big storm a coming

memelion- you use memes too?? Where have you been all my life

Skills™- in the heights fucking d y i n g

Pegarita- why am i friends with you children 

dispatch- peggy we are all older than you sorry to say but it's true

Pegarita- usnavi save me

cafè caliente- no can do muchacha, these two don't have any leash 

memelion- so anyways, going onto _coffee candy_

Skills™- **oh my fucking gOD is that the only reason why you added us usnavi**

Pegarita- usnvai you are my brother you cannot do this to me

cafè caliente- not your blood brother so :^)))))))

Pegarita- i trusted you  
But you are no better than sonny or benny i’m so disappointed

Skills™- what's that supposed to mean pegs??

Also don't blame Benny he is an innocent child

But yeah usnavi and I are fucking trash cans **fight us in the dennys parking lot**

A.Burr- _Someone_ , can use proper grammar.

Pegarita- oh fuck off burr

'angel'ica- Missy im about to slap the living daylights out of you

Pegarita- oh shit what have i done guys you gotta save me

'angel'ica- you told burr to _fuck off_

A.Burr- To be honest I'm not surprised.

Pegarita- i know what i did i just need my friends to save me

cafè caliente- I am a Freeloader™ sorry no saving for you

Skills™- same

dispatch- you guys are so rude jfc

Pegarita- usnvai if you don’t save me i’m going to tell her

cafè caliente- tell her _what_ exactly 

'angel'ica- are you guys keeping secrets now I'm gonna scream

Pegarita- usnavi i am going to tell vanessa. 

cafè caliente- _sweats_

no wait **dont**

Pegarita- save me or i will tell vanessa you like her

Skills™- BAHAHAH MY CUZ HAS A CRUSH ON VANESSA

dispatch- oh my GOD

cafè caliente- Peggy you've ruined me

Pegarita- all is fair in love and war :^))))))))))

cafè caliente- more like rELATIONSHIPS AND ESPIONAGE 

memelion- i still ship pegsnavi

dispatch- im

Skill™- bRB IM FUCKING C R Y I NG

turtles- _alex please you are hurting them_

memelion- _not as much as you hurt me in bed ;^)))))))_

'angel'ica- IM GOING TO BLOCK YOU I SWEAR TO G O D

Pegarita- YOU HAVE A SHIP NAME FOR US?????

bread-stick- herc is wheezing he cant handle this Alex w h y

memelion- all's fair in love and _bullshit_

deservesbetter- #letpeggylive

cafè caliente- #letpeggylive

bread-stick- #letpeggylive

Pegarita- #letpeggylive

memelion- you guys are all ganging up on me this is not okay

'angel'ica- well you bring up your fucking kiNKs in chat with minors and _ship them_

A.Burr- I can't believe any of this.

café caliente- aren’t we all minors here

A.Burr- Yes we are, so Alex, please stop talking about sex.

‘Angel’ica- we are all too young for this.

memelion- _m o a n s_

horse- o H

turtles- brb literally killing alex

memelion- _d a d d y t a k e m e_

deservesbetter- IM KINKING SHAMING G

'angel'ica- im in tears Alex how could you do this

Skills™- I can't b r e a t h e

cafè caliente- my life is in fucking shambles 

A.Burr- I c a n t b e l i v e t h i s

Pegarita- guys let’s kill alex

memelion- 911 yes hello my so called _friends_ are trying to fucking _harass me_

turtles- alex i love you but for god’s sake leave the children alone

also stop discussing your kinks in public

memelion- _what if thats my kink too_

turtles- im leaving

Skills™- peggy your friends are great 

cafè caliente- gREAT?

dispatch- im currently screaming inside.

Pegarita- benny i am adopting you and as your new mom i forbid you to talk to alex

horse- im calling the police on you alex

memelion- well,,, what are they gonna do,,, lock me up and put handcuffs on me,,, oh,, no,,

turtles- oh

 

my

 

god

 

bread-stick- alex, mon ami, you kinky little _fuck  
There are children near_

horse- turn off the fucking sin please

Skills™- im so glad i got put into this chat now i can fight _and_ kinkshame

Pegarita- get your sin away from my adoptive son alex

dispatch- i’m in distress mother hold me

memelion- _mommy kink_

dispatch- g oodbye

_dispatch has left this conversation_

Pegarita- fuck you alex you scared my SON 

_Pegarita added dispatch to this conversation_

pegarita- i am so sorry for my sinful friends please stay Benny

dispatch- i don't know how to feel

Skills™- im still crying ahsosoaao

turtles- alex look what you've done you've taken these poor kids and now they have anxiety 

'angel'ica- im screaming alex im getting in my car and driving to your house to beat you up rn

deservesbetter- can i come too

pegarita- me too?

'angel'ica- the schuyler sisters are going to fucking m u r d e r you

Skills™- fuck nya’ll alex is cool

horse- n y a ‘ l l

Skills™- iT AUTO CORRECTED

Pegarita- i… i can’t believe this

dispatch- whEN WAS THE ONE TIME YOU TYPED NYA’LL ON  
P U R P O S E

Skills™- i

cafè caliente- #savesonny

dispatch- #sonnyisafuckingfurry

Skills™- nO

Pegarita- #sonnymorelikeSINNY

Skills™- im tossing myself into a dumpster fuck you guys

Pegarita- love you too

cafè caliente- <3

Memelion- this does not obey the pegsnavi ship

turtles-  
What  
Im  
a l e x t h i s i s y o u r f a u l t

deservesbetter- update- Angelica is literally driving us to Alex's house so we can fight

turtles- update- im fucking screaming and Alex is hiding in the broom closet

Pegarita- this is what you get for shipping pegsnavi

Horse- the schuyler bitches back at it again

'angel'ica- iS THIS REALLY THE TIME

WE’VE GOT ALEX, KINKY SHITHEAD OVER HERE SHIPPING  
M I N O R S  
AND NOW THIS  
I FEEL  
BETRAYED  
BACKSTABBERS AND LIARS

 

bread-stick- what are you keemstar

horse- i

turtles- you mean the gnome

dispatch- the hell is a keemstar??

turtles- i know the satan sisters are bad but when they get pissed

boy

You gonna d i e alex

Run far and fast

A.Burr- Excuse me, Eliza said Angelica was driving, did she just text and drive?

deservesbetter- no im texting for her i have both of our phones

A.Burr- Is she just screaming in the car?

pegarita- y e a h

cafè caliente- save her

bread-stick- _save all of us Je suis en détresse_

cafè caliente- there is no saving for the rest of you

horse- but we need _help_

Alex needs the most help but w/e

memelion- lock me up and throw away the key I've sinned 100x the normal amount

Pegarita- you brought this onto yourself

turtles- tbh yeah

memelion- cyber bullies, all of you

Deservesbetter- alex you got about 5 seconds to hide we are here

memelion- sHIT  
AJDK

turtles- ow wtf alex smacked me as he ran past

Lmao they are actually here brb  
He's in the closet 

‘Angel’ica- john is an angel thank you for telling us where alex is hiding

Horse- you guys better tell me all the details after you beat him up

bread-stick- same

A.Burr- Might I ask why you can't resolve this by talking instead of fighting?

Deservesbetter- he is shipping my sister do you not understand 

A.Burr- I mean, yeah, that's shitty but,,

‘Angel’ica- he’s also too young to have a fucking sex life and to discuss in this chat

A.Burr- I’m surprised Alexander even manages to maintain a relationship.

memelion- sHUT YOUR FILTHY TRAP B URR

deservesbetter- wait wtf john you said he was in the closet??

turtles- he might of jumped out the window

deservesbetter- i

memelion- cANT CATCH ME NOW FUCKERS!!

pegarita- i think I saw him running down the street

'angel'ica- well

Rip  
He's gone with the wind

Dispatch- you gotta go get him

cafè caliente- beat his ass

turtles- y’know for someone as lazy as alex he can run like the wind

Memelion- fuck i’m out of breath and i’m lost

cafè caliente- jajajaja

Skills™- what street are ya on??

memelion- I have no clue, I am just. Gone

turtles- r i p alex  
He’ll probably die so I'm breaking up with you now babe

Pegarita- alex i will give you milky ways if you tell us where you are

memelion- I seriously don't know where I am John help

turtles- are you on a road

memelion- yeah I'm like a block away from some 24/7 convenience store 

Skills™- is it called swiftys?

memelion- i think so yeah

Skills™ lmao alex ur on my street brb fighting him

dispatch- Sonny that's not a good idea

Pegarita- sonny plz beat his ass

Cafè caliente- ^^^^

memelion- i see a tall kid with a fucking afro approaching me

dispatch- that's him

Sonny go help him plz don't kill him

Deservesbetter- KILL HIM FOR THE SCHUYLER SISTERS

pegarita- **bangs fists on table** BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

deservesbetter- i

'angel'ica- Peggy please

Memelion- JOHN I LOVE YOU GOODBYE

dispatch- im like 3 streets over im running to you guys sonny please don't kill him

cafè caliente- he ships me and peggy he deserves dEATH

dispatch- i

turtles- okay but sonny p l e a s e don't kill my boyfriend 

pegarita- yeah john is right we shouldn’t kill alex

Dispatch- im almost there ahajs

horse- we should probably go find alex and sonny before they die

cafè caliente- i am also running 

turtles- we're all getting in Angelica's car and driving to alex brb

Horse- okay so  
We are alone now

bread-stick- rip

A.Burr- I am still here if you are wondering.

horse- burr why are you here in the first place

A.Burr- Alex keeps on adding me, but I am not sure why I am here exactly.

Bread-stick- you are our friend.

A.Burr- Really? I thought more companion.

bread-stick- that is,,, how do you say,,,, rude.

horse- laf you've been in New York for 5 years now you'd think you could speak English pretty well by now.

Bread-stick- >:0 

Désolé, je ne peux pas vous entendre sur toutes les baguettes dans mes oreilles.

 

horse- bread fucker what did you say

A.Burr- “Sorry, I can’t hear you over all the baguettes in my ears.”

Bread-stick- herc how DARE you call me a bread fucker

horse- laf im fucking leaving you

Pegarita- update, we found alex and sonny, alex was trying to rap and  
jajsjsdj  
he was really bad sorry alex  
We’re driving alex back to his place now, sonny and usnavi went home, Benny is just sort of, here.

Skills™- the bad rap is the only reason he’s still alive right now

Dispatch- i’m always here  
Watching  
Waiting  
Waiting for the moment to strike

cafè caliente- benny is too pure to hurt anyone

pegarita- didn't benny accidentally kick a chicken once

dispatch- okay 1, it was a duck, 2 I didn't see the duck, 3 why does this matter now

Skills™- we need to find out if you are truly the evil mastermind we think you are

dispatch- wh a t

cafè caliente- i bet 10 dollars on you being evil a while ago

Pegarita- guys benny is pure. 

Skills™- maybe to you niña, but to us?  
He is a living garbage can.

dispatch- i am **NAUGHT**  
Mrs Schuyler, send him to the principal's office and have him _EXPELLED_

cafè caliente- this is why we can't have nice things

Pegarita- i will my precious Benny. Usnavi go to the priNCIPAL’S OFFICE

Skills™- bENNY RUINED MY D R E A M J O U R N A L

dispatch- _i dID **NaUghT**_

Pegarita- HE DID NAUGHT

cafè caliente- _he. Knew. Everything. When. We knew. Nothing._

turtles- why are you guys memeing at a time like this

cafè caliente- our squad as shark boy and lava girl characters let's go

dispatch- im Linus

cafè caliente- im max jajaja

pegarita- im Mr electric aka mrs schuyler 

Skills™- im motha fucking shark boy

pegarita- can Nina be lava girl

dispatch- AJSKAJSJSJJAJA

Skills™- nINA AS LAVA GIRL IM C R YI N G

memelion- i am back and I am safe and I missed the sb and lg memes god dammit

Pegarita- alex is the background

turtles- im the cgi

horse- im Max's dad

bread-stick- im the mom

horse- alex is our child

memelion- shit

‘Angel’ica- i’m the reviews 

deservesbetter- im the ice princess

A.Burr- Lava girl and Shark boy?

memelion- b u r r

H a v e y o u n o s h a m e

Pegarita- do you not have a CHILDHOOD

turtles- bURR HAS NO CHILDHOOD

memelion- hE DOES **TOO** , MR ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO DISNEY CHANNEL MOVIE RERUNS AND HAVE HIM _L I V E_

A.Burr- If I had no childhood, I wouldn’t be an adult. You guys are idiots.

‘Angel’ica- wait. Mrs. schuyler? Peggy who are you married to

pegarita- i

memelion- _**P E G S N A V I**_

cafè caliente- S T O **P**

Pegarita- the day i marry usnavi is the day hell freezes over

dispatch- i am going to. Scream.

Skills™- vansavi

Pegarita- yeah that makes sense

cafè caliente- i

Skills™- speaking of, dude are you gonna ask Vanessa out soon or what?

cafè caliente- i don’t know like… what if she says no my life would be ruined

Memelion- you could date Peggy

'angel'ica- Alex I swear to fuck 

pegarita- _im never gonna date him_

Memelion- _dew it_

Pegarita- he’s my BROTHER i can’t date him

memelion-  
_cafè caliente, yesterday-_  
> not your blood brother so :^)))))))

memelion- d a t e

dispatch- why do you want them to date so much

memelion- i don't, its just fun to watch them _squirm_

Pegarita- #blockalex

cafè caliente- #blockalex

turtles- #letpeggyandusnavilive

Dispatch- #letpeggyandusnavilive

memelion- #bringbackpegsnavi2k16

Pegarita- #letpegsnaviDIE2k16

cafè caliente- #killalex

horse- #killalex

memelion- herc even you

bread-stick- #killalex

memelion- i can't believe this

A.Burr- #killalex

memelion- bURR??? ?  
MY FIRST FRIEND, MY ENEMY

Pegarita- #burrisonourside

A.Burr- Wait, friend?

memelion- yes you are my friend stop trying to sacrifice me

pegarita- sACRIFCE TO ALAN

cafè caliente- LONG LIVE ALAN THE CLASS GOLDFISH

dispatch- HE WAS VALIANT AND NOBLE

cafè caliente- WITTY AND QUICK

Skills™ the fool was pretty damn slick

Dispatch- fiSH P UNS

Pegarita- he left us too soon. 

memelion- i can't believe any of this is real

turtles- same

deservesbetter- wait alan was a fucking goldfish

Pegarita- yes he was a GODfish

cafè caliente- stop now

'angel'ica- i remember when you came home and cried about him for an hour 

Pegarita- what did you think alan was

deservesbetter- from the way you acted it seemed like alan was a classmate

Pegarita- hE WAS MORE THAN JUST A CLASSMATE

cafè caliente- ALAN WAS A BEING GREATER THAN WE COULD EVER UNDERSTAND 

Pegarita- he was going to take me on a date but he died… it was hard on all of us

memelion- Peggy

Dating

A  
Fis h

Fishgy

Pegarita- better than usnavi 

memelion- i was about to type in fishnavi and I'm not sorry

cafè caliente- i

Pegarita- oh come on you would rather date alan than me

cafè caliente- tbh I think we'd all date alan in a heartbeat

dispatch- yeah

Skills™- same

'angel'ica- a f i s h

pegarita- yeah what's the deal

'angel'ica- a f i s h

**Im gonna fucking scream**

Pegarita- glub glub, he whispered

dispatch- dONT BRING THAT BACK

cafè caliente- _**O S C A R R A M O S**_

dispatch- _**N O**_

Skills™- usnavi would rather date a fish than vanessa 

cafè caliente- _is this the real life_

_Is this just fantasy_

_Caught in a landslide no escape from reality_

memelion- don't quote bohemian rhapsody around me boy

A.Burr- fishsnavi

Skills™- let's get it trending  
#fishnavi

Horse- YOU HAVE KILLED LAFAYETTE AND ME HOLY SHIT

Bread-stick- we are laughing really hard what the fuck is wrong with you people

memelion- _glub glub, alan whispers as he gently caresses usnavi’s face_

Horse- i got some popcorn holY SHIT 

cafè caliente- im blocking every single one of you

Pegarita- same

Skills™- what’s wrong fish fucker 

cafè caliente- im crying this is cyberbullying

Pegarita- my sweet brother i’m trying to convince angelica to drive me to you

'angel'ica- no peggy we just drove to Alex's house and back and I'm almost out of gas leave my presence 

turtles- cold.

Pegarita- i’ll walk to him you can’t stop me  
And you call yourself my sister

deservesbetter- peggy its 9PM and its dark say no to this.

Pegarita- Eliza i need to save my brother

Memelion- ‘save’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cafè caliente- jsjsjaksjdkssjj

A.Burr- I think I'm going to leave before things go to hell, goodnight all.

Pegarita- Goodnight Burr, the sanest of all of us.

_A.Burr has gone offline_

memelion- rip burr, he memed well

Deservesbetter- it’s almost 9:30 Peggy, that was your new bedtime. 

Pegarita- 0:

'angel'ica- 'was’?

Deservesbetter- don’t question the ways i tell peggy to go to sleep

Pegarita- ergh, I guess I was tired anyways night guys

_pegarita has gone offline_

cafè caliente- i cant believe peggy is dead

Dispatch- peggy is responsible and goes to bed at reasonable times, which we should too

cafè caliente- no please stay up and meme with us,,,,,, its Friday

Skills™- benny x peggy… beggy  
penny 

Memelion- _bussy_

dispatch- that's it I'm going

_dispatch had gone offline_

Skills™- _b u s s y_

cafè caliente- benny likes nina joke’s on you sonny

dispatch- d o n t t a l k a b o u t m y l o v e l i f e

cafè caliente- I THOUGHT YOU WENT OFFLINE  
Besides peggy ruined me

dispatch- it was all a ruse because i came back to see if you were fucking me over and i was right 

cafè caliente- benny i’m trying to save your ass from being shipped

dispatch- just don't murder my image while I'm asleep  
actually good night

_dispatch has gone offline_

cafè caliente- but what if this is a ruse too

Skills™- id hope not because it's 10 PM and I'm about to start my late night Sonny Sinning™

cafè caliente- i  
what

Skills™- **rUBS HANDS TOGETHER**

the best time to sin is late night so  
Be ready for non coherent sentences and bullshit

‘Angel’ica- YOU ARE A CHILD YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO SIN

deservesbetter- Angelica plz

Drop the game  
We all know you honestly couldn't care less if these children sin  
Im all up for Sinning Sonny let's do this B)

‘Angel’ica- i don’t want them influencing peggy

memelion- Peggy is asleep and already ruined 

turtles- tbh yeah

‘Angel’ica- true. Let’s get this sin party ROLLING

horse- laf and i might be turning in, and while it's be great to meme, we’re going to one of my cousins basketball games and have to get up early.

deservesbetter- yeesh, fine, be party poopers and sleep

horse- night ya'll

 _horse has gone offline  
bread-stick has gone offline_

turtles- Western Herc™

memelion- okay but imagine: laffeyete in a horse suit

deservesbetter- hwat the fuc k

cafè caliente- what is that one guy’s thing with horses

memelion- we all secretly think he's related to one

turtles- YOU do

I don't

Here's just weird don't mind him usnavi

cafè caliente- i  
okay

memelion- sort of relevant and important 

Lee@memelion: I thought about us…. In a deserted rodeo arena…. We’d ride each other instead of the bulls

turtles- _stop this madness_

_wait I'm fucking crying did Lee say that  
did Lee say that to you alex_

memelion- _y e a h_

turtles- im leaving g oodbye

cafè caliente- we don’t live in a desert this is nEW YORK

Memelion- you don't have to live in the desert to get kinky my dear friend :^)))))))))

cafè caliente- angelica eliza save me

'angel'ica- i think Eliza fell asleep rip

cafè caliente- go wake her up and tell her to save me

‘Angel’ica- Why do we need to save you

cafè caliente- **are you serious**

turtles- alex is being kinky again 

'angel'ica- well its late and I don't care j want to sleepf.t ired

Deservesbetter- technically we’ve never met you

cafè caliente- fucking _fine_

go to sleep  
see if I care

deservesbetter- Urgh

_deservesbetter has gone offline_

'angel'ica- ashoosfk

_'angel'ica has gone offline_

memelion- that was….

turtles- weird.

Skills™- you are all weird 

memelion- says you afro

Skills™- afro????

Memelion- you have an afro so that's what I'm calling you

turtles- same 

Skills™- nya’ll suck

Skills™- fUck

turtles- damn Sonny back at it again with the _nya’ll you fucking fURRY_

cafè caliente- sonny more like SINNY

memelion- ^

turtles- ^^^^^

Skills™- fuck you guys im going to bed

_Skills™ has gone offline_

turtles- _the pressure was too much_

Memelion- who would like to read my pegsnavi fanfiction

turtles- yoU WROTE FAN FICTION 

cafè caliente- asgajsjdadoo

Memelion- okay i’m joking i haven’t written pegsnavi fanfiction

 

**yet**

cafè caliente- i am hurt

Memelion- why are you hurt  
Do you want fanfiction

cafè caliente- i am hurt that you would think writing fanfiction about me and peggy would bE A GOOD IDEA

Memelion- well i’m sorry that you two are 2 n’ 2 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

turtles- i want usnavi to r u n

cafè caliente- I'm escaping you dirty sinners goodnight

_cafè caliente has gone offline_

Turtles- i’m going to kill you alex

Memelion- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Turtles- alex i swear to god

Memelion- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**I did actually write fanfiction lampoo**

turtles- im aCTUALLY FUCJING YELLING ALE X N O

CAN I SEE IT

**L AM pOo**

memelion- bahahahhaha

 

_Here it is you filthy memer_

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7373200?view_full_work=true

turtles- i cant believe you did this

memelion- _**believe it babe :^))))**_

Turtles- you even put yourself in it i can’t fucking believe you

memelion- _**you know me :’^)))**_

Skills™- iM GO jNb To Fucking Gdjcr y I CAN T Believe tbskSs

Memelion- i thought you were sleeping 

Skills™- i dRA NK ALO TOF COFFeeE

memelion- its 1 AM

turtles- speaking of time we should go to sleep 

cafè caliente- fanfiction. Really? Sonny just woke me up.

memelion- ajsjaja Sonny how could you  
I trusted you

cafè caliente- i’m going to call peggy and see if it wakes her up

memelion- wAIT N O DONT DO TH IS SA Y N O

Pegarita- alex. You. little. **fuck.**

'angel'ica- aLDX I CANT BELIVE YOU J JUST WOKE UP TO MY LITTLE SISYER SCREAMING IM GOING TO PUNT YOU INTO THR FUCKING S U N

Deservesbetter- ^^^^^

horse- ALEX HOLY **F U C K**

Dispatch- peggy is my mOM HOW COULD YOU DO THIS

bread-stick- alex,, ~~mon ami~~ ,,,,, how could,,,,, I just woke up and I actually screamed,,,.,,

Memelion- how could i dO THIS I AM HELPLESS

A.Burr- Who wants me to actually ruin Alex?

turtles- _**r u i n ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**_

memelion- NO no I SUIFN and addrPPNODONTin I caZnt

_A.Burr added mmMads and imalwaysright_

Memelion- dOnt skphip me and Burr John I'm LE AVING

mmMads- i

imalwaysright- burr, what the hell, its 1 AM and whaT THE FUCK

A.Burr- Alexander Hamilton here decided to write fanfiction about Peggy Schuyler and Usnavi.

mmMads- im

imalwaysright- HABABHSBSHABA

Memelion- i aM RUINED I AM HELPLESS HOW COULD I DO THIS

Skills™- im ATSYULLAY FUCKZING zsvrEanjng

bread-stick- i

Turtles- how could you exPOSE MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THIS

A.Burr- :^)

memelion- bless my heart burr used an emoji  
i still fucking hate you but  
bless my soul

mmMads- Thank you burr

imalwaysright- AhahHHahaah

pegarita- alex you've ruined me I can never go out in public again

Imalwaysright- hey, if it makes you feel better, miss peggy, james and i can punt alex into the sun for you next week :^))

mmMads-no we can't the hell Thomas

imalwaysright- **sshhhhhhh**

Pegarita- wow, jefferson is nicer than alex this is a shocker

memelion- i

i am broken

defeated 

toss me into the pit ladies and gentlemen 

dispatch- I can't breaThE im leavIng

cafè caliente- mister jefferson can i help you punt alex into the sun

_dispatch has gone offline_

pegarita- alex you broke my son

‘Angel’ica- you bROKE MY SISTER 

cafè caliente- everything is on fire and I hear screaming in the distance 

Skills™- that's me

bread-stick- herc and I,,,, are going to sleep on this,,,, I am in disbelief 

horse- you messed up a-aron 

now alex is dead

A.Burr- No, it’s ‘you done fucked up A-A-Ron’

memelion- where is the real burr who replaced him

A.Burr- im 100% natural bby ;^))))))

turtles- bURR has beEn dfuckIng MURdeTd

mmMads- you broke burr

Imalwaysright- it’s too late at night for burr to be coherent 

he always acts like he's drunk at the wee hours of the morning 

A.Burr- jefferson is right but I'm not sorry for whatever I say because fuck nya’ll

memelion- nYA’LL

turtles- B URR NYBALL

Skills™- THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING, AARON FUCKING BURR

Imalwaysright- he’s dead inside when he’s tired

mmMads- jefferson is right

imalwaysright- im always right my dude :))))

memelion- stop it you used fucking tissue we have an issue here

imalwaysright- the only issue here is your ignorance and possible pedophilia 

memelion- iM NO T

turtles- g goodbye im leaving earth h

_turtles has gone offline_

A.Burr- you are just mad that jeffersON Is cooler than yoU

deservesbetter- we need to keep burr up late more often

mmMads- it is 2AM why is everyone up still anyways

Pegarita- we are all screaming 

dispatch- im in pain

'angel'ica- im forcing everyone to bed g o t o s l e e p

A.Burr- no

'angel'ica- everyone who goes offline right now I'll buy a milkshake for tomorrow 

_A.Burr has gone offline_  
mmMads has gone offline  
deservesbetter has gone offline  
dispatch has gone offline  
Skills™ has gone offline  
cafè caliente has gone offline  
horse has gone offline  
bread-stick has gone offline 

memelion- jesus christ

Thanks Angelica 

Pegarita- angelica i can’t sleep because my life is ruined but if i go offline will you still buy me a milkshake

'angel'ica- yes but try to sleep at least a bit please

Pegarita- okay goodnight

_pegarita has gone offline_

memelion- that was quick 

Is it just us still online

Imalwaysright- welcome folks  
To alexander’s doom

memelion- _oh g o d_

Imalwaysright- so what the fuck is wrong with you hamilton

memelion- i

nothing

imalwaysright- _you wrote fan fiction about 2 minors alex what the f u c K_

Memelion- literally none of us are 18

imalwaysright- _but still_

_they are younger_

‘Angel’ica- screw their age, you wrote fanfiction about my little sister and her best friend.

imalwaysright- I want to legitimately know why you wrote this _I need to know_

Memelion- to make you guys suffer

'angel'ica- its so fucking meta i hate it

im gonna let you two duke this out its too late to function

_'angel'ica has gone offline_

imalwaysright- goodnight, _hamilhoe_

memelion- im

_imalwaysright has gone offline_

memelion- _**hamilhoe**_

_memelion has changed contact name to hamilhoe  
hamilhoe has gone offline_

_Chat terminated  
Goodnight_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello!
> 
> Fluffy and Mix here, we hope you've enjoyed this text fic so far, maybe drop a comment or kudos? It would mean the world to us if you did!
> 
> In other news, happy 4th of July to everyone in the U.S., stay safe tonight. Also, we think this might be our longest chapter yet! Insane, we know.
> 
> Kudos, comments, and hits are always loved and appreciated, thank you all!
> 
> -FluffyTheUnicorn & Mnmix
> 
> (oh gee willickers 10,000 words)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A school dance, breadsticks, and drama, right here, right now, in this episode of Memes™
> 
> (Homophobia and internalized homophobia at the endish part of this chapter)

_hamilhoe added A.Burr, 'Angel'ica, turtles, horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, dispatch, Skills™ and café caliente to this conversation_

 

hamilhoe- what is up my homies

turtles- this dick

 

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory 

hamilhoe- same

café caliente- aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Pegarita- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Dispatch- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Skills™- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Deservesbetter- why is everyone dying 

café caliente- there’s a school dance and we are all scared

hamilhoe- wAIT reallY

Pegarita- yES

Skills™- i’m probably not gonna go

Dispatch- but we neeeeeeed you 

hamilhoe- i predicted this  
Now usnavi you have to take our darling little peggy to this dance

café caliente- no

Skills™- usnavi  
You gotta  
Ask  
Vanessa  
To the dance

Pegarita- usnaaaavi ask her out

A.Burr- You guys are still in middle school, I don’t think it’s the time to be worried about dating. 

hamilhoe- so since i’m in high school does that mean i can be kinky as fuck

turtles- st op

A.Burr- No, you aren’t even 18.

‘Angel’ica- I agree Peggy shouldn’t go to the dance with anyone.

Deservesbetter- ^^^

Pegarita- i wasn’t planning to

‘Angel’ica- success 

hamilhoe- peggy you gotta go to the dance with usnavi  
It’s in my fanfiction

horse- well if Peggy's not gonna go usnavi should at least have someone, who was that one girl?

Skills™- Vanessa

dispatch- **slams fists on table**  
_Ask Vanessa out_  
_Ask Vanessa out_  
_Deeew it_  
_Dddeeewwww ittt_

cafè caliente- no,,,, I cannot,,,,,,

Skills™- i’ll add her

 

_Skills™ added coldsoda_

 

Coldsoda- what is this? Sonny, why’d you add me?

cafè caliente- aAAAH SONNY FUCZkicantbeLIVETHISISHAPPENINGTOME

Coldsoda- usnavi, what’s wrong?

cafè caliente- nOTHING

Skills™- my cousin over there,,, has been meaning to ask you,,, what a lady such as yourself,, might be doing tonight

cafè caliente- soNNY PLEAS E

Coldsoda- does your cousin dance?

Skills™- like a drunk chita rivera

Coldsoda- okay, then we could go to the dance together i guess, maybe catch a movie after?

cafè caliente- that’s a great idea yeah

coldsoda- well, I've got to go get ready for the dance, see ya later usnavi!

_coldsoda has gone offline_

 

cafè caliente- oH SNAP WHO'S THAT  
DoONT TOUCH ME IM TOO HOT

yES

QUÉ PASÓ HERE I gO  
SO DOPE Y tU LO SABES

 

Pegarita- for the love of god usnavi

stop being such a nerd

cafè caliente- wHAT A WAY TO BEGIN THE WEEKEND 

Skills™- sigue!

cafè caliente- aaaaaaAAAAAAAaAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Pegarita- usnavi.exe has stopped working

hamilhoe- pegsnavi.exe has fuCKING DIED

#ripinshitmyshipFUCK

Turtles- i got a ship that might make you happy alex

hamilhoe-...?

Turtles- angelica x happiness 

'angel'ica- i

y e s

hamilhoe- #protectangelicaxhappiness2K16

'angel'ica- only ship I can get behind that you guys make

Pegarita- i agree i want my sister to be happy

turtles- has alex finally stopped his filthy memeing ways?

Pegarita- you say that like it’s possible

hamilhoe- 420smokfatdongerz

‘Angel’ica- get your sin away from my sister

horse- i

sinster

Bread-stick- the schuyler sinners

deservesbetter- ^^^^^^^

Pegarita- i’m a big sin now

hamilhoe- hey now, you're a sin star

turtles- wake me up

Dispatch- mom i thought you were better than this

turtles- wake me up inside

pegarita- ive become so numb

A.Burr- Mary had a little lamb

hamilhoe- i

Skills™- burr is not okay 

turtles- burr, never meme again, please.

A.Burr- I thought we were just reciting song lyrics.

Pegarita- burr can’t meme for shit 

hamilhoe- ^

A.Burr- That is rude.

bread-stick- do you even know what a meme is Aaron

horse- says the guy who didn't know what they were 3 days ago laf I stg

Pegarita- I am the true memer

hamilhoe- r u sure about that :^))))))

pegarita- yes I am stfu alex :^))))))))))))

Deservesbetter- peggt is the true memer

hamilhoe- pEGGT

turtles- pp eGG T I CANT BRE AETH E

Pegarita- i’m legally changing my name to peggt

'angel'ica- _my darling little peggt_

deservesbetter- im fighting you all leave me alone it was a typo

A.Burr- huh, peggt, sounds fitting.

Pegarita- peggt is the best typo ever

hamilhoe- **r u sure**

**behold**

 

**a r s o n b u t t**

A.Burr- I

is that a typo of my name.

hamilhoe- yes

A.Burr- Stop.

turtles- Aaron burr, aka super spy arson butt

hamilhoe- us but as spies au

horse- **_s p y k i d s a u_**

deservesbetter- im deleting my account

cafè caliente- arson butt is better than Aaron tbh

A.Burr- _What._

Dispatch- usnavi plz

cafè caliente- arson butt has personality, Aaron, uh,,

he uses proper grammar.

Skills™- usnavi stop 

A.Burr- I’m not sure whether I should laugh or cry.

dispatch- ^ do both, at the same time

Skills™- Benny only you do that

cafè caliente- vANESSA IS HERE GOTTA GO _F A S T_

dispatch- don't piss yourself (((^:

cafè caliente- u fuckin loser imma punt u to the sun

pegarita- go have fun brother, don't die

 

_cafè caliente has gone offline_

 

hamilhoe- now that he's gone,,,,,

 

_h e n t a i_

 

turtles- sTO P

hamilhoe- okay, but may I ask, why

turtles- _you just randomly said hentai I can't believe this_

hamilhoe- part of the package baby~

horse- ew

turtles- what are you Angelica now

'angel'ica- yeah, excuse me mulligan, but I'm afraid I'm the only one who can be disgusted at affection around here

horse- well I'm sure peggy and burr could too, since they’re single, but be my guest

'angel'ica- ugh

turtles- Angelica ya gotta step up your flirting game

'angel'ica- well,, maybe I don't wanna date!

hamilhoe- (^:,`

Pegarita- angelica x happiness 

hamilhoe- ^^^^

deservesbetter- ^^^^^^^

Dispatch- hello i’m here to tell you usnavi is probably dead

Skills™- already?

Dispatch- p much, yeah, he's hiding by the punch

Skills™- wait you’re at the dance

dispatch- usnavi dragged me along

cafè caliente- guYS HELP

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO D O

pegarita- #saveusnavi2K16

cafè caliente- peggy plz help 

pegarita- im not going to the dance to save your sorry ass lmao

'angel'ica- pEGGY L ANGUAGe

hamilhoe- says Angelica (((((^:,`

Pegarita- sorry mom

'angel'ica- i

horse- 'mother’

A.Burr- You two are related.

hamilhoe- peggy fucked up :^)))

Pegarita- angelica is my sister  
But she’s also like my mom

turtles- Sister-Mom™

pegarita- ^ basically yeah

Dispatch- i hate to interrupt this beautiful family moment but i don’t think usnavi is okay

cafè caliente- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dispatch- he dropped a cup of punch on Vanessa's dress and she ran to the bathroom with Nina rip usnavi 

Skills™- nina is there you say (^:,`

dispatch- leave

Dispatch- Vanessa came back out and she’s pretty cool about it cause it blended into her dress

pegarita- r ip

hamilhoe- usnavi the human disaster™

cafè caliente- fucking bullies

Dispatch- usnavi is stuttering so hard rn im

Pegarita- 10/19 subpar dance too much awkwardness 

Skills™- im just gonna fucking walk over to the dance I need to see this shit

Deservesbetter- i want to see this shit peggy you’re my only way in

pegarita- i

hamilhoe- we’re all going to peggy’s dance it's decided

pegarita- no pls im not even there

turtles- herc get your minivan started up we’re goING

bread-stick- mon dieu

cafè caliente- vanessa is so pretty and nice im screaming 

hamilhoe- you’ll be screaming in a different way soon ((((^;  
(Im sorry jesus)

turtles- aLE X

bread-stick- mON DIEU

dispatch- i choke d on my fucking punch w h y

cafè caliente- stop

pegarita- sOBBIN g

dispatch- lmao I should show that to Vanessa

cafè caliente- nO

Skills™- N OO

cafè caliente- noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

cafè caliente- bENNY DONT DONT DONT WALJ OBER TH W R E ER

hamilhoe- sobbing

Dispatch- she’s laughing a lil too hard

cafè caliente- BAJA jnsnjzmas. wHY DO YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS

Dispatch- ((((;;

hamilhoe- im deleting my account b y e

 

_hamilhoe has left the group_

 

Skills™- jansmsm

turtles- aL EX N O

 

_turtles has added hamilhoe to this conversation_

 

Pegarita- you can't escape your sins alex

Hamilhoe- o rly

 

_Hamilhoe has left the group_

 

_Turtles has added hamilhoe to this conversation_

 

hamilhoe- ugh

f i n e

you get fucking punished since you won't let me leave tho

cafè caliente- how could you ruin my life like this alex

hamilhoe- I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines  
Of what's fucked up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, ah-ah

I walk alone  
I walk a...

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone...

Pegarita- o shit mate  
He went full meme

deservesbetter- ScREAM S

turtles- AJSSJAKS im bREAKING up wITh you I SWE AR TO G OD

horse- we all need jesus

we need,,,,  
to  
we need to baptize alex

hamilhoe- what.

bread-stick- y es

cafè caliente- guys I'm in distress

dispatch- bro chill Vanessa went to the bathroom you’re safe

For now

cafè caliente- fhjsjs fuck off

Pegarita- bro it’s okay vagessa won’t hurt you

hamilhoe- > vagessa

pegarita- >:(

cafè caliente- vagessa is the worst name  
Vanessa is way better

'angel'ica- Alex don't copy and paste that shit I'm having emo phase flashbacks

deservesbetter- oh yeah remember when Angelica was emo

hamilhoe- what. Tell me more.

horse- teLL ME MORE TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE WH AOOOO

bread-stick- im getting a divorce 

turtles- we’re breaking up with both of our boyfriends laf let's just marry each other bc im 1000% done with Alex and his. Filthy meme ways

bread-stick- i am also done with herc’s “filthy musical ways”

hamilhoe- you damage me

horse- :’(

pegarita- eVERYBODY SHUT UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY SISTERS EMO PHASE 

'angel'ica- Peggy please no

A.Burr- Good lord I go out to get a cup of coffee and come back to see this. Shit.

turtles- burr defend me from these heathens

hamilhoe- Oh Mr buRr, save me from these foul creatures!

A.Burr- ????

turtles- southern Belle aleX

pegarita- nNzsjmd

Skills™- sC R EAMING

Dispatch- LIFE IS A LIE

woah wait a minute

Where is usnavi

pegarita- what do you mean

dispatch- he's not in the gym and hes not in the bathroom

Skills™- I bet you 10 bucks he left out of embarrassment 

cafè caliente- sorry friends i have a hot date with vanessa to attend

Skills™- I.

hamilhoe- i guess you will be screaming later hot damn

Pegarita- disgusting

cafè caliente- i’m always screaming  
Inside

horse- hot

bread-stick- n djs

horse- nO I MEANT THAT TO ALEX SMSMSM CRYI G

cafè caliente- im scre aming irl

hamilhoe- life is hell

 

_Pegarita added coldsoda to the conversation_

 

Skills™- r u screaming yet

fUCK

Coldsoda- will this provide a reason as to why usnavi is silently screaming

cafè caliente- hanmssnd. A

Coldsoda- he’s screaming  
With his eyes  
Omg  
He just ran away like  
Gone.

Dispatch- where is he running?? Im fucking confused 

Coldsoda- aww man i was really looking forward to this date  
And i don’t even know where he ran? He just grabbed some breadsticks and r a n.

pegarita- don't tell me you went to olive garden for a date

hamilhoe- olive garden breadsticks are my kink tbh

turtles- sC REA MSS

Coldsoda- yeah we went to olive garden  
I have to pay for this  
oLIVE GARDEN IS EXPENSIVE

'angel'ica- you guys are like 14 how did you even get in

coldsoda- we said we were 15

dispatch- smooth

hamilhoe- gotta get them. Breadsticks 

Pegarita- these criminals

cafè caliente- I’M SORRY VANESSA I LOVE YOU FORGIVE ME

dispatch- OM L

Skills™- WAIT IM GONNA FUCKING SCREENCPSHOT THJS SJSNDJSN

cafè caliente- i done diddly darn fucked up there didn’t i 

Coldsoda- i

 

_Coldsoda has left this conversation_

 

cafè caliente- i’m running back to olive garden 

Dispatch- oH b OY

cafè caliente- no one has proof i said “vanessa i love you” unironically 

Skils™- I just fucking screenshotted it bITCH (((((((:

cafè caliente- I SEE VANESSA

pegarita- i feel like this isn't going to end well

deservesbetter- ^

Skills™- this is beautiful but our poor usnavi is gonna get heartbroken 

pegarita- he's gonna. Die

dispatch- i think he's already dead inside but okay 

Hamilhoe- this is what happens when you are a child trying to find love

turtles- alex we are all minors 

hamilhoe- shhhhhut 

‘Angel’ica- john you know we can’t control that kinky fuckboi

hamilhoe- why do you slander my name like this

Deservesbetter- alex you are a kinky fuckboi

horse- i mean it is true

hamilhoe- pain is all I know,,,, I walk this lonely road,,,,

turtles- laf are you still up on that marriage proposal 

Bread-stick- y e s 

turtles- love, let us run away from these vile beasts

bread-stick- oh Mr. laurens

Horse- >:(

Bread-stick- leave my sight 

hamilhoe-if you shits are going to be so salty then ill just marry Hercules!

horse- i don't want to date any of you any more you’ve broken my fragile heart :’(

hamilhoe- ufuguj.

Fine.

I'll just marry burr

A.Burr- I never agreed to this

hamilhoe- you are now sweetums

turtles- i’m sorry, Mr. Mulligan

Horse- i’m so betrayed...

A.Burr- s weetums

cafè caliente- guys  
update on my horrible life: i have a girl friend??????????????????????????????????????

Skills™- sHIT BOI I D IE

dispatch- asjsjd did you actually score

cafè caliente- So basically there was me sobbing and screaming inside and vanessa was like “usnavi it’s okay” and gave me a hug and then i was like “please don’t be mad” and she was like “i wish i was mad” and then kissed me?????? Then we decided we’re gonna go on another date where i don’t shove breadsticks in my pockets and run and that’s basically what happened

Skills™- well damn

Pegarita- usnavi… I’m so proud of my child

hamilhoe- are you gonna go on hot dates and buy tampons for her like a good boyfriend 

cafè caliente- what 

Pegarita- #unsavibestboyfriend

Skills™- #letusnavilive

hamilhoe- Oh hey guys guess what I just thought of

turtles- something bad

hamilhoe- punsnavi

turtles- no. Stop.

Pegarita- better than pegsnavi

cafè caliente- don't remind me of that

hamilhoe- pegsnavi lives on in my heart )):

 

_Pegarita added coldsoda to the conversation_

 

hamilhoe- maybe you could just date Peggy AND Vanessa and make both of us happy

cafè caliente- n o

pegarita- ajsjdjd

Coldsoda- what did I just walk into???? Usnavi is peggy your ex or something

cafè caliente- Vanessa please don't look at this sjsjdn

Coldsoda- usnavi what is with these guys?

cafè caliente- they are horrible, horrible people

Pegarita- alex ships me and usnavi nothing to worry about vanessa

hamilhoe- don't hurt me

Coldsoda-???? But why??

bread-stick- it is a very bad joke that my friend over here came up with 

Pegarita- none of us know why alex ships pegsnavi but don’t worry i won’t steal your boyfriend

Coldsoda- well, okay  
Uh anyways  
Thanks for the date usnavi, it was fun 

cafè caliente- ajdjs no thank yOu

Coldsoda- see you at school!

 

_Coldsoda has left this conversation_

 

Pegarita- look at my bro here…. I’m so proud of lil ol usnavi

hamilhoe- our little grub has turned into a butterfly,,,, so proud,,, :’)

cafè caliente- st op

Dispatch- okay but when do I get a date

Skills™- I mean there's nina

Dispatch- asjsjd  
No dude  
I doubt she even likes me  
Dance is over anyways so it's not like I can find her

Turtle- nina? That girl with about 2 classes at the high school?

cafè caliente- oH god you know her

Skills™- John,,, do me a favour,,

Turtles- what

Skills™- ask nina to date benny boy over here (((;

Dispatch- nO DONT

Pegarita- yes do

Dispatch- i mean…. I did dance with nina 

hamilhoe- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Dispatch- alex why does everything have to be sexual with you

hamilhoe- i was born this way

turtles- he really is bad

Dispatch- aren’t you like…. 16

turtles- he called me daddy once

hamilhoe- Hshahsjs DONT SAY A W ORD

Skills™- dADDY KINK 

Turtles- “DADDY” “dude wtf” that’s what happened it really ruined the moment

Skills™- I mean it could be worse

turtles- do i even wanna ask how

Skills™- I mean he could call you mommy ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

hamilhoe- i would never

bread-stick- mon dieu I can't believe alex has a father kink

horse- laf, its daddy kink. Father kink Sounds worse tbh 

Hamilhoe- you know daddy,,,,,,,,

Turtles- S T O P

hamilhoe- yiff

turtles- NO.NO.NOB.BOB!BKSMNSMDJDNO NO

horse- the kinks are revealed,,,,,

A.Burr- i

hamilhoe- burr do you have any kinks

A.Burr- I

turtles- hsjajsjsjsj burr im so sorry you have to go through this

A.Burr- Really, I’m appalled. Alexander, you know we aren’t even adults yet. This is not something we should be discussing. 

hamilhoe- burr you’re such an uptight shit, live a little

turtles- i don't think yiffing qualifies as living

A.Burr- Alexander. You are an idiot.

hamilhoe- Aaron. Do you even daddy ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

turtles- alex s top

A.Burr- Why do you do these things.

hamilhoe- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

turtles- im gonna. Die

cafè caliente- john do you daddy

pegarita- do we all even daddy

'angel'ica- pEGG Y

Horse- #doyouevendaddy

A.Burr- pain.

Dispatch- #doyouevendaddy

hamilhoe- c rying

deservesbetter- why do you guys do this 

Horse- nobody knows

hamilhoe- ((((;

turtles- why am I dating you again

horse- nobody knows

turtles- >:(

horse- love you too ;^*

turtles- shrrIEKS

hamilhoe- this household is falling apart 

pegarita- wHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING THE FACT THAT ANGELICA APPARENTLY HAD AN EMO PHAS?E???

‘Angel’ica- well peggy, did you forget your brony phase?

pegarita- snsnzjsnsksnsmsm

 

_pegarita has left the conversation_

 

hamilhoe- ahjasjjWHAT

 

_hamilhoe has added pegarita to the conversation_

 

cafè caliente- peggy had a brony phase what

bread-stick- 'brony?’

deservesbetter- c rying

Horse- laf, there’s this show called my little pony, it’s for little kids but a lot of not little kids like it and they are called bronies. 

bread-stick- hercules, dear, do you have an infatuation with these 'little ponies’

Horse- oh dear god no

turtles- then why is ur username horse (^:,`

Horse- horses are cool animals i rode a horse when i was 5 and his name was george. 

hamilhoe- george

George Washington 

Horse- why are you judging george he was a pure innocent horse

pegarita- i cant believe Mr Washington is a furry

deservesbetter- nsjAAAAAA

turtles- i can't believe herc rode furry Washington at 5 years old

Horse- how could you do this to me,,,,,,,

hamilhoe- im fuckign c rying 

turtles- i mean maybe he rode Mr Eacker or 'king george’ too (;;;;

horse- you slander my name, you burn my crops,,, now this,,

Pegarita- still waiting to hear about angelica’s emo phase….

‘Angel’ica- still waiting for you to throw out that box of ponies 

pegarita- >:0

horse- woah wait hold on did Eliza ever have a phase

Pegarita- i will never forget eliza’s weeb phase

bread-stick- friend!!! Friend!!! What have you watched??

horse- oh god

deservesbetter- oh god,, that was so long ago.. um.  
Death note, madoka magica, hunter x hunter, fairy tail, soul eater,, ect

bread-stick- eugh, mainstream. The only good popular shit is deathnote

Pegarita- can’t forget noragami…. You still have the hiyori tail…..

bread-stick- noragami!! Fuck yeah!!

Deservesbetter- WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE HIYORI COSPLAY

'angel'ica- remember how you begged me to help with it at like 12 AM

Pegarita- remember how you ranted for an entire day how the ending of deadman wonderland is shit and how the anime is shit but you still loved it

'angel'ica- remember your death the kid shrine

deservesbetter- oKAY OKAY ENOUGH

Pegarita- never forget

'angel'ica- also didn't you unironically run a marathon Naruto style

deservesbetter- i THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME FASTER.  
Anyways didn’t you unironically have an aesthetic tumblr blog about how the world is shit.

'angel'ica- nsjsjf don't remind me

hamilhoe- today’s lesson, the schuyler sisters are weird as shit.

deservesbetter- remember when last year peggy had to get surgery for her jaw and afterwards she was high on anesthesia and said she wanted to get her 'cutie mark ‘

pegarita- Jajansnajzmzjs THAT NEVER HAPPENED DONT BELIEVE THIS VILE WOMAN

cafè caliente- strangely i believe peggy

deservesbetter- i video taped it but peggy broke the camera

pegarita- >:((((

Skills™- hshshs peggy why

Hamilhoe- remember how john once almost fucked a turtle while high on anesthesia

turtles- oKAY TIME TO HOP OFF MEMORY LANE KIDDOS THIS TRAIN IS TAKING A FULL STOP **AND NEVER RUNNING AGAIN**

Horse- no john you and alex both had dental stuff the same day and it was alex who wanted to fuck the turtle and you just jumped into the conversation but alex denies it

Skills™- nya’ll are fucked up

turtles- i

Skills™- fUcK SHIT FUCK JSJDJD  
IT AUTOCORRECTED OKAY

Dispatch- SURE JAN

cafè caliente- mY OWN BLOOD

A FUCKING FURRY

Skills™- USNAVI N O

cafè caliente- USNAVI Y E S

dispatch- our lives are in shambles

cafè caliente- everything is ruined… and thus… i leave you …….

 

_cafè caliente has left this conversation_

 

pegarita- we’re all in pain 

hamilhoe- he needs some milk

'angel'ica- FUCK SHIT

Pegarita- are you okay

hamilhoe- nothing is okay when Angelica curses

'angel'ica- I FORGOT ABOUT THE MILKSHAKES

hamilhoe- AHAHAJSJSJS

'angel'ica- BUT ITS LIKE 7 PM WHERE DO YOU GET 10+ MILKSHAKES AT THIS HOUR 

turtles- McDonald's 

'angel'ica- i am not taking all of you to McDonald's 

hamilhoe- pleassseee

'angel'ica- Alex you and Jefferson aren't getting milkshakes

hamilhoe- wHY

'angel'ica- you didnt go offline when I said so (^:

Pegarita- angelica give me milkshakes

hamilhoe- its a Saturday night in the spring im sure everyone would be fine with hopping in your van to get some sweet, sweet, milkys

turtles- milkys

hamilhoe- ndjdjs

A.Burr- I'm up for milkshakes.

bread-stick- also herc and I

turtles- ((^:

'angel'ica- ugh

_A.Burr added mmMads and imalwaysright to this conversation_

mmMads- what now

'angel'ica- remember how I said I'd get you all milkshakes

mmMads- ooh

But its 7PM

'angel'ica- EXACTLY!

turtles- Angelica take us to the sweet milk cream

‘Angel’ica- that’s it no milkshakes for anyone

mmMads- I've done nothing to deserve this 

imalwaysright- do I get any y’all?

'angel'ica- no.

imalwaysright- :(

mmMads- I'll buy you one you big baby

‘Angel’ica- gay

mmMads- …

imalwaysright- uh

hamilhoe- oKAY WELL ANYWAYS A MILKSHAKE SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK JOHN

turtles- YES LET US GO GET THE SWEET FROSTY TREATS

 

_turtles has gone offline_  
_hamilhoe has gone offline_

 

'angel'ica- ???

mmMads- we’re not dating and don't make it seem like we are

deservesbetter- sheesh

‘Angel’ica- it was a joke we all know you guys aren’t dating

mmMads- well whatever, im not really in the mood for milkshakes anyways  
Thanks for the offer

 

_mmMads has left this conversation_

 

imalwaysright- sorry about that

'angel'ica- did you guys get in a fight or something??

imalwaysright- sort of?? I'd rather not talk about it

deservesbetter- that's fair

Skills™- so are we doing milkshakes or not

'angel'ica- yes

dispatch- yEAH

'angel'ica- im picking everyone up and getting them milkshakes, that includes you jefferson

imalwaysright- wait but

'angel'ica- no buts Mr

imalwaysright- >:(

Pegarita- yay milkshakes they are great i love my sister angelica schuyler

hamilhoe- that sounds suspicious ((^:,`

pegarita- no Angelica is the best sister ever and is very good

hamilhoe- im onto you

'angel'ica- i gotta go get a hair tie from the bathroom real quick then I'll get the van started up

pegarita- wAIT NO

'angel'ica- PEGGY MARGARITA SCHUYLER DID YOU GET INTO MY MAKEUP

pegarita- NO

Hamilhoe- the schuyler bitches back at it again

deservesbetter- :( I did nothing

pegarita- she told me where your makeup was

'angel'ica- EXCUSE ME W HAT

Skills™- rip peggy

Pegarita- i’m pretty now

'angel'ica- ajsjsj you weren't ugly before

turtles- update: McDonald's milkshakes suck

hamilhoe- i used my sparce money for that 'shit’

'angel'ica- okay change of plans im making my own milkshakes and you’re all invited 

deservesbetter- Angelica are you throwing a party

'angel'ica-,,,, no… its a.. get together...

Pegarita- it’s a party

hamilhoe- (((^:

turtles- do you even have the stuff to make milkshakes 

'angel'ica- actually yeah

Hamilhoes- angelica can i have a milkshake

'angel'ica- ugh, yes, everyone is invited 

we’re gonna kidnap Madison and make him feel better

imalwaysright- wait what

‘Angel’ica- do you not want madison to have a milkshake

imalwaysright- I mean I do but are you sure this is a good idea

pegarita- everyone loves milkshakes you fool  
operation make James happy is a go!

hamilhoe- uh, no.

pegarita- don't ruin this you turd >:((((

hamilhoe- thomas and James both hate my guts how will this work

imalwaysright- I don't _hate_ you, I dislike you.

hamilhoe- ugh.

A.Burr- im making the both of you come to this bash whether you like it or not.

turtles- > bash

Hamilhoe- life is a lie

imalwaysright- ugh, fineeee

hamilhoe- ;)

 

 

_imalwaysright > mmMads_

 

 

imalwaysright- okay so

mmMads- save it thomas 

imalwaysright- ??  
Wtf dude

mmMads- i know what you’re gonna say

imalwaysright- no you don't?? Why you assuming man ://

mmMads- ...

imalwaysright- as I was saying,, Angelica wants you to come over to her house with everyone and have milkshakes 

mmMads- No. Tell her thank you, but no.

imalwaysright- aw come on man, it'll be fun!

mmMads- sure it will, and it'll be just as fun without me.

imalwaysright- are you still hung up on that fucking dating thing man?  
It was just a joke ://

mmMads- Maybe I didn't _enjoy_ the joke, Thomas.

imalwaysright- why are you being so goddamn rude all the sudden?

mmMads- Maybe its because you fuckers keep fucking joking that we’re dating and dont give a single god damn shit about how I feel. _Oh, it doesn't matter James, its just a joke!_ Well it fucking bothers me, so maybe you could lay off and leave me the fuck alone?

imalwaysright- …

you know what?

mmMads- _What._

imalwaysright- _Fuck. You._

mmMads- oh that's just _rich_ coming from you

imalwaysright- you what I think this is all really about?

mmMads- what do you think?

imalwaysright- I think this is just some homophobic _bullshit_ you’ve cropped up here

mmMads- are you fuckin serious?

imalwaysright- oh I'm 100% serious. Y’know, maybe after that one guy you dated in middle school, ya thought, _man, guys dating guys are gross_ and you started to become more and more of a dick, and hell, its probably why you hate Hamilton! 

mmMads- you are such a fucking visionist, fucking actually thinking this shit. Maybe it just makes me uncomfortable? Maybe I don't like it? Maybe I don't like who I am? You need to think outside of your own shitty personal bubble, jefferson.

imalwaysright- oh so you ARE admitting you’re a homophobe?

mmMads- well maybe I am, maybe I'm a judgemental piece of fucking shit, thanks for confirming that.

imalwaysright- that's fucking _horrible_

mmMads- yup.

imalwaysright- that's it, im so fucking done with you. We've fought before and I've given you _multiple chances,_ but no, I guess they weren't enough for you to redeem yourself. Im fucking done.

 

_imalwaysright has left this conversation_

 

mmMads- hdjshdhs i hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him ajsjsj

 

_mmMads has left this conversation_

 

'angel'ica- okay so it turns out we don't have cherries so we need to go buy some

turtles- rip

imalwaysright- madison isn't coming.

'angel'ica- why?

imalwaysright- because he's a piece of shit

'angel'ica- ???  
What happened?

imalwaysright- hold on a sec..

imalwaysright-  
_mmMads and imalwaysright >> 7:47 PM_

_> imalwaysright- I think this is just some homophobic bullshit you’ve cropped up here_

_mmMads- are you fuckin serious?_

_imalwaysright- oh I'm 100% serious. Y’know, maybe after that one guy you dated in middle school, ya thought, **man, guys dating guys are gross** and you started to become more and more of a dick, and hell, its probably why you hate Hamilton!_

_mmMads- you are such a fucking visionist, fucking actually thinking this shit. Maybe it just makes me uncomfortable? Maybe I don't like it? Maybe I don't like who I am? You need to think outside of your own shitty personal bubble, jefferson._

_imalwaysright- oh so you ARE admitting you’re a homophobe?_

_mmMads- well maybe I am, maybe I'm a judgemental piece of fucking shit, thanks for confirming that._

_imalwaysright- that's fucking horrible_

_mmMads- yup._

_imalwaysright- that's it, im so fucking done with you. We've fought before and I've given you multiple chances, but no, I guess they weren't enough for you to redeem yourself. Im fucking done._

>>>

'angel'ica- what the fuc?k??

Pegarita- fite 

hamilhoe- are you actually fucking serious 

imalwaysright- I wish I wasn't 

hamilhoe- im going to fucking kill him! what the fuck! What the actual fuck!

A.Burr- I’ll talk to Madison. Maybe he’s upset about something else? I don’t know.

imalwaysright- good luck burr, he’ll probably just spew the same toxic crap at you too ://

hamilhoe- kick his ass

A.Burr- Not everything has to be violent.

hamilhoe- well I'm kinda fucking offended right now so I have the right to be violent burr

 

 

_A.Burr > mmMads_

 

A.Burr- James? Are you alright? Thomas kinda told the group what happened.

mmMads- i’m fan-fucking-tastic. It’s none of your business what happened so i don’t care if he sent you to yell at me too

A.Burr- Woah, calm down. He just shared with us the messages where you yelled at each other.

mmMads- yeah so i know you’ll trust him so i don’t even care what you have to say

A.Burr- Madison, why are you so mad?

mmMads- well jefferson sent you to yell at me so clearly you know what’s wrong

A.Burr- I’m pretty sure there’s something else wrong.

mmMads- there isn’t just _leave_ , asshole

A.Burr- Calm the fuck down. I’m trying to be polite here.

mmMads- burr, I just got in an arguement with my so called friend. Do you think i’d be okay?

A.Burr- I understand that, it’s just that you were kinda overreacting in the messages Jefferson showed us.

mmMads- _Overreacting_? I’ve put up with your bullshit for far too long. I’m really sick and tired of the crap i’m put through at the expense of being friends with you and jefferson.

A.Burr- Madison, what have I ever done to you? Why are you so mad tonight, when we all could have had fun at the Schuyler’s?

mmMads- You’re attacking me right now, you know what you’ve done. And why would i go to the schuyler’s house when angelica called me gay?

A.Burr- angelica was joking for christ’s sake. I’ve been nothing but nice to you this whole time and yet you give me bullshit like this. I’m trying to help you.

mmMads- can’t you leave me alone? Can’t you just chose the right choice of ‘leaving james alone’? Just go angelica’s party and have fun, forget this ever happened.

A.Burr- But I _want_ you to come to the party. We all do. Jefferson especially.

mmMads- since when did you start caring about what jefferson thinking? Had a change of heart burr? 

A.Burr- You are so petty, this is ridiculous!

mmMads- uhuh, goodbye burr, tell jefferson im _not_ sorry,

 

_mmMads has gone offline._

 

A.Burr- Somebody hates the idea of not hating everyone.

 

_A.Burr has left this conversation_

 

turtles- im?? So mad?? Wtf

Horse- why is Madison even acting like this its so out of the blue 

A.Burr- ugh

Hamilhoe- burr! What did he say? Did you kick his ass??

A.Burr- its like talking to a brick wall

imalwaysright- im assuming he said the same shit from earlier 

A.Burr- not exactly 

A.Burr-  
_mmMads and A.Burr >> 8:07 PM_

_> A.Burr- James? Are you alright? Thomas kinda told the group what happened._

_mmMads- i’m fan-fucking-tastic. It’s none of your business what happened so i don’t care if he sent you to yell at me too_

_A.Burr- Woah, calm down. He just shared with us the messages where you yelled at each other._

_mmMads- yeah so i know you’ll trust him so i don’t even care what you have to say_

_A.Burr- Madison, why are you so mad?_

_mmMads- well jefferson sent you to yell at me so clearly you know what’s wrong_

_A.Burr- I’m pretty sure there’s something else wrong._

_mmMads- there isn’t, just **leave,** you asshole_

_A.Burr- Calm the fuck down. I’m trying to be polite here._

_mmMads- burr, I just got in an arguement with my so called friend. Do you think i’d be okay?_

_A.Burr- I understand that, it’s just that you were kinda overreacting in the messages Jefferson showed us._

_mmMads- **Overreacting**? I’ve put up with your bullshit for far too long. I’m really sick and tired of the crap i’m put through at the expense of being friends with you and jefferson._

_A.Burr- Madison, what have I ever done to you? Why are you so mad tonight, when we all could have had fun at the Schuyler’s?_

_mmMads- You’re attacking me right now, you know what you’ve done. And why would i go to the schuyler’s house when angelica called me gay?_

_A.Burr- angelica was joking for christ’s sake. I’ve been nothing but nice to you this whole time and yet you give me bullshit like this. I’m trying to help you._

_mmMads- can’t you leave me alone? Can’t you just chose the right choice of ‘leaving james alone’? Just go angelica’s party and have fun, forget this ever happened._

_A.Burr- But I **want** you to come to the party. We all do. Jefferson especially._

_mmMads- since when did you start caring about what jefferson thinking? Had a change of heart burr?_

_A.Burr- You are so petty, this is ridiculous!_

_mmMads- uhuh, goodbye burr, tell jefferson im **not** sorry._

 

hamilhoe- shaoshaosibaooasjo???

imalwaysright- screaming

turtles- punting James into the sun brb

bread-stick- _Dégoûtant_

‘Angel’ica- guys i’m sorry this is my fault i shouldn’t have made the gay joke

imalwaysright- nonono you're fine, its my fault for fighting him in the first place 

hamilhoe- btw burr are you alright 

A.Burr- im just really fucking pissed, Madison has some nerve.

Deservesbetter- i would fight madison but i’d be rekt.

pegarita- i don't exactly know what's going on but same

imalwaysright- i think I'm just gonna sleep on this

A.Burr- goodnight thomas

imalwaysright- night

 

_imalwaysright has gone offline_

 

'angel'ica- well now its 8:30 PM and we have a bunch of milkshake stuff out but no one to make it for

hamilhoe- screw it we’re having an emergency sleepover after all this bullshit

horse- sorry to be a downer but laf and I were actually gonna go to bed

hamilhoe- alex, John, and the schuyler sisters sleepover!

‘Angel’ica- this is a good idea

deservesbetter- go sleep

Horse- night 

 

_Horse has gone offline_  
_bread-stick has gone offline_

 

pegarita- wait are Benny and sonny and usnavi still on?

hamilhoe- i think usnavi left the group 

turtles- r ip

 

_Hamilhoe added cafè caliente to this conversation_

 

cafè caliente- i was enjoying my peace what is it

hamilhoe- well you managed to miss the discourse and we're having a sleepover at the schuyler house 

cafè caliente- discourse?

turtles- you don't wanna know about it 

cafè caliente- )^:,`

Dispatch- i wanna join in this quality sleepover

Skills™- a sleepover sounds rad rn tbh

cafè caliente- rad 

Skills™- >:(

Pegarita- sonny is rad

Skills™- someone who understands 

hamilhoe- okay so are we on for the sleepover

'angel'ica- yeah

Do you guys want me to pick you up or

hamilhoe- John and I can drive there

cafè caliente- Benny and sonny are already at my house so we can walk there 

'angel'ica- okay but be careful

cafè caliente- we will be, _mom_

deservesbetter- ajsjsj

'angel'ica- >:[

hamilhoe- woah wait what about burr

A.Burr- I can drive.

turtles- why don't we just carpool, burr lives like 5 blocks away from us

A.Burr- fair enough

Pegarita- how many people are coming to this sleepover?

'angel'ica- everyone except for Jefferson and herc and laf and you-know-who

cafè caliente- who I knew??

hamilhoe- no one 

cafè caliente- )))^:,`

turtles- well I'm dumping all the pillows and blankets in the passenger seat so you and burr will have to squeeze in the back

hamilhoe- meanie >:(

turtles- im sure burr is plenty fine to sit next to

Pegarita- don’t worry usnavi you don’t want to know who it is

Cafè caliente- if you’re sure..

Skills™- im bringing silly string

'angel'ica- wait what no

pegarita- sonny please don't trash my house 

Skills™- (((^:

cafè caliente- okay we’re heading over rn ETA 20 minutes

'angel'ica- Alex and you and John and burr coming over yet?

hamilhoe- no

hamilhoe- no wait I see burr walking up the street we're gonna leave in a bit

Skills™- see y’all soon

Skills™- yES! FINALLY!! THE FURRY IN MY PHONE IS VANQUISHED!!

hamilhoe- what are you a cowboy

Skills™- nsjsjf bullying

hamilhoe- ndjdjs that reminds me

Lee@memelion I thought about us…. In a deserted rodeo… we’d ride each other instead of the bulls

deservesbetter- sOB BING

turtles- ajdjs okay okay we’re going we're be there in 10

hamilhoe- (;;

pegarita- wtf

hamilhoe- i

I think burr brought a snuggie

deservesbetter- mE

A.Burr- its really comfy,,,

hamilhoe- why can't you use a blanket like a normal person 

deservesbetter- when have we ever considered burr normal

hamilhoe- tru

'angel'ica- why can't you guys talk to each other in the car like normal people

hamilhoe- its more fun to text

A.Burr- bc we're losers and its late and I'm. Tired

hamilhoe- speaking of tired I think burr is actually gonna fall asleep

pegarita- burr please don't fall asleep as soon as you get here

A.Burr- i can't make any promises

cafè caliente- okay we’re walking up the street

dispatch- we kinda had to do a detour because there was a cat and sonny got scared (^:

Skills™- I did not!

dispatch- ((^:

hamilhoe- is pussy an appropriate term for this situation 

Skills™- im

cafè caliente- hahdhsgdhdgsh 

hamilhoe- okay we’re there, I see usnavi and everyone else

hamsjsj burr fell asleep

pegarita- you have to drag him out

hamilhoe- >:(

'angel'ica- everyone come inside already 

cafè caliente- we just got here chill

Skills™- time to pARRTTTYYYY

'angel'ica- its not a party!

hamilhoe- (((((^;

 

_hamilhoe has gone offline_  
_turtles has gone offline_  
_Skills™ has gone offline_  
_cafè caliente has gone offline_  
_dispatch has gone offline_  
_A.Burr has gone offline_  
_'angel'ica has gone offline_  
_deservesbetter has gone offline_  
_pegarita has gone offline_  
_Chat Terminated_  
_Goodnight_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A SILLY GAME, MWHAHAHAH
> 
> yes, actaully plot and angst, what a twist!
> 
> It's been over a month, but we're back! And better (worse) than ever! Thanks for sticking along with us in this wild ride of a fic, comments and Kudos are highly appreciated!
> 
> (Sorrynotsorry)
> 
> \- Mnmix & FluffyTheUnicorn


	5. Update

Hey guys! Sorry for not updating in forever, school has been extremely, extremely busy for fluffy and I both, and a TON of stuff has happened.(Including me maybe or maybe not dating fluffy now whoops.) But I promise we've got chapter 5 on the way! I'm also cookin up a hamburr fic so look forward to that in the future ;) Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and bookmarks! Fluffy and i appreciate it greatly. Catch y'all on the flip side \- mnmix


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the over month long wait, enjoy (; .
> 
> Discourse, more discourse, and The Gay??, all in this episode of Memes™.

[WARNING: Really vague orphan black spoilers]  
[double warning nya’ll are gonna get super slightly spoiled for Sherlock :^) ]  
[also i call delphine slightly problematic but she’s my child fight me -Fluffy]

 

 

 

_hamilhoe added A.Burr, 'Angel'ica, turtles, horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, dispatch, Skills™ and café caliente to this conversation_

 

Hamilhoe- time to start the day my coolio friends

 

turtles- what are you the 90’s

 

Horse- does anybody even say coolio anymore 

 

Hamilhoe- how could you say this to me,,,, im hurt by your actions

 

Pegarita- gUYS

 

cafè caliente- what 

 

Pegarita- have you ever heard of the show orphan black

 

Deservesbetter- o lord peggy don’t do this

 

cafè caliente- what??

 

turtles- is it a show about burr

 

hamilhoe- cryign

 

A.Burr- >:(

 

Pegarita- orphan black is about clones and the clones are my children except rachel fuck rachel

 

hamilhoe- woah calm down there spicy meme child 

 

Pegarita- rachel tries to hurt my children….. 

 

deservesbetter- why are there clones

 

Pegarita- because some people made very bad decisions and my pure science lesbian clone is dying because of these bad decisions

 

Hamilhoe- aren't deaths a spoiler

 

pegarita- asvaonssoso

 

hamilhoe- you spoiled this thing I was gonna potentially watch, for shame >:(

 

turtles- peggy,,, you monster 

 

pegarita- leave me alone!! Bullies!!

 

Deservesbetter- to be fair, technically peggy was really vague about it and it could happen in the first few episodes 

 

Hamilhoe- still

 

Deservesbetter- also peggy didn’t say the name of the character and if she doesn’t say what the character’s name is we will never know

 

Hamilhoe- >:((( you wound me

 

Pegarita- thank you… my sister

 

horse- the schuyler bitches at it again 

 

Pegarita- alex you must… go watch the show…. 

 

hamilhoe- no,, im too busy,, doing nothing,,

 

Pegarita- such a vague spoiler shall do nothing. Go watch Orphan Black my dearest friend

 

hamilhoe- ngl it still sounds like a show about burr ::^)

 

A.Burr- I don't deserve this

 

Pegarita- are you saying burr is a female clone

 

hamilhoe- yes, he is also a lesbian

 

turtles- c ryign

 

Pegarita- no actually he’d be the gay foster brother  
That’s a character in orphan black

 

horse- absiabsk

 

A.Burr- :(  
I am wounded

 

Dispatch- someone please stop my dear mom peggy

 

hamilhoe- mommy

 

turtles- snahajjsksjsk

 

Dispatch- no stop

 

Pegarita- join me son

 

bread-stick- is our dear Peggy even mature enough to be a mom

 

Turtles- why aren’t we talking? We’re all in the same house

 

Pegarita- angelica is sleeping

 

hamilhoe- rip!!

 

Pegarita- why don’t you want to hear about orphan black i’m hurt

 

hamilhoe- bc it sounds boring  
orphan black au but with all of us would be much better 

 

Pegrita- alex is the gay foster brother and burr is the orphan clone… ur brothers now

 

hamilhoe- its what I've always wanted (‘:

 

A.Burr- but peggy…. Who are you

 

Pegarita- i’m the soccer mom clone who has probably killed someone once 

 

deservesbetter- accurate 

 

Pegarita- angelica is the foster mom 

 

horse- who am I 

 

Pegarita- you are the cool cop guy

 

bread-stick- what about moi

 

Pegarita- you are the slightly problematic bisexual french science lady

 

bread-stick- this is true

 

cafè caliente- but who am i????

 

Pegarita- idk you are probably just one of the people who died

 

cafè caliente- you hurt me

 

Skills™- can I be the person that kills him

 

cafè caliente- rude!!

 

Skills™- ;)

 

Pegarita- sonny is the clone that kills a bunch of people but everyone still loves said clone

 

Skills™- :))))

 

Dispatch- am i the cool clone

 

Pegarita- no you are the clone’s kid…. Congrats burr…. My son is now your son too

 

A.Burr- I cant believe I have a son

 

Deservesbetter- peggy am i cool too 

 

Pegarita- you are the science lesbian clone,,, so very cool….

 

deservesbetter- very true  
does the science clone have a girlfriend 

 

Pegarita- not really….. But she really likes this science lady who is not a clone

 

deservesbetter- that science lady is Maria I'm calling it

 

Pegarita- the science lady is the french science lady… congrats ur girlfriend is laf

 

horse- wait what about me I wanna date french science lady

 

Pegarita- no you date dead cop clone…. Well technically not date but close enough

 

horse- :(

 

hamilhoe- ur fucking up our family dynamic

 

Pegarita- you are the one who wanted this au….

 

hamilhoe- :(((  
Wait what about John 

 

Pegarita- john is the guy that’s only in season one but he dates the gay foster brother so there you go alex you get your boyfriend

 

turtles- why do I get to die

 

Pegarita- no you don’t die you just disappear 

 

hamilhoe- i cant believe John implodes  
Okay but  
Is burr my real brother

 

Pegarita- no both you and burr are orphans and angelica is your foster mom and benny is your nephew 

 

A.Burr- I

 

Hamilhoe- it makes sense  
show me ur brotherly love

 

turtles- ajshsjjs

 

horse- i think we need a family tree

 

Pegarita- okay so we have burr who is a clone, sonny is a clone, i’m a clone, eliza is a clone, and usnavi could have a purpose and be the clone that’s a dick. Alex is burr’s brother and burr’s child is benny. Also angelica is alex and burr’s foster mom. Family tree there you go. 

 

A.Burr- what about jefferson

 

Pegarita- so actually usnavi is the dead cop clone and jefferson is the clone that’s a dick. Herc and laf are not in this family tree. 

 

cafè caliente- i cant believe I'm dead

 

hamilhoe- okay but Sherlock au 

 

turtles- im

 

Pegarita- i’m sherlock fite me

 

hamilhoe- no fuck off  
and john is John  
See it all fits  
It's meant to be

 

Pegarita- but who am i?

 

hamilhoe- hshsjs im tempted to say Mary but  
Ajsjsjsj  
Wait no you’re molly, scientist girl

 

Pegarita- who are these people i only watch like two shows on bbc america 

 

hamilhoe- im sobbing burr you’re are my snobby brother Mycroft

 

A.Burr- I'd think I'd be Lestrade

 

hamilhoe- no, lafayette is Lestrade  
also congrats, people ship you and laf

 

A.Burr- fuck

 

bread-stick- oh mr burr

 

A.Burr- DONT BRING THAT BACK

 

hamilhoe- oH M R B URRRR

 

turtles- bu r r s i r r r 

 

Dispatch- mother save us

 

horse- mother said straight ahead not to delay or be misled 

 

bread-stick- im fuckign leaving you 

 

hamilhoe- _m o an s_  
**b urr**

 

A.Burr- ajsjsj stop

 

‘Angel’ica- hello i would like to tell you that is time to discontinue you guys are giggling like 12 year old girls

 

hamilhoe- hello mother

 

'angel'ica- what.

 

Dispatch- hello grandma

 

A.Burr- Mother.

 

'angel'ica- the fuck

 

iM SCREAMING I THINK I JUST HESRD SOMEONE FUCKINGBMOAN BURR IM GOING TO FUCKINFNDESTRJRN

 

turtles- iT WAS ALEX I SWEAR ON MY LIFE

 

hamilhoe- N O

 

horse- _oh mr burr is heard faintly in the distance_

 

Pegarita- are you okay mom-sestra

 

‘Angel’ica- fucking who let peggy talk about orphan black how many fucking times do i have to tell you your fake ukrainian accent sucks stop trying to be helana for fuck’s sake

 

Pegarita- but… i must……….. How could you do this to me mother-sestra

 

‘Angel’ica- i swear to god if you say sestra one more time i’m taking away your phone

 

Pegarita- have a snickers

 

hamilhoe- r u fuckin kidding me

 

A.Burr- who is moaning my fucking name im going to lose it

 

‘Angel’ica- taking peggy’s phone she just fucking moaned an orphan black joke

 

Pegarita- gotta go fast

 

‘Angel’ica- peggy no

 

deservesbetter- she's in the backyard 

 

hamilhoe- peggy,, ya gotta tell me,, were you moaning burr,,,,

 

pegarita- nO

 

hamilhoe- ((^:

 

Pegarita- you know it’s really hard to see where i’m going at like… 5:30 in the morning….. The sun is only just rising… it’s pretty actually

 

hamilhoe- >:( admit it u fool, you moaned burr

 

Pegarita- no….. I would never… also did you not hear me moan the orphan black joke 

 

hamilhoe- no what did you say

 

Pegarita- i may have moaned mother-sestra into angelica’s ear

 

deservesbetter- choking

 

Pegarita- anyways i ran to vanessa’s house it’s pretty chill

 

cafè caliente- you ran to my girlfriend’s house? Why……

 

Pegarita- angelica was gonna take my phone…. 

 

hamilhoe- is Vanessa your only orphan black friend 

 

Pegarita- yes :’)

 

cafè caliente- my girlfriend,, is a nerd,, I can't believe this 

 

Pegarita- we write orphan black fanfiction together 

 

dispatch- lame

 

Pegarita- she’s my best friend… i love her….

 

hamilhoe- 'love’

 

cafè caliente- ajsjdjd fuck off

 

Pegarita- platonic love sheesh

 

Hamilhoe- _p e g n e s s a_

 

horse- ITS TIME TO DISCONTINUE

 

Pegarita- how dare you say this stuff about my platonic girlfriend 

 

Turtles- pEGSNAVI NOW PEGNESSA HAVE YOU NO SHAME

 

hamilhoe- i dont

 

_Pegarita added coldsoda to this conversation_

 

Hamilhoe- i cant help that I just have an eye for potential couples 

 

Pegarita- my love vanessa people are shipping us

 

coldsoda- _usnavi what did you do_

 

cafè caliente- nOTHING 

 

Pegarita- it’s alex’s fault

 

Hamilhoe- i’ve been betrayed  
beaten to a pulp  
left in the dust

 

Coldsoda- peggy is my wife alex,,,,,, how could you betray me

 

turtles- gay

 

hamilhoe- >:(  
it's not my fault im a cupid in disguise

 

Pegarita- how could you say this to my platonic wife

 

hamilhoe- u can't deny ur platonic love

 

coldsoda- well I'm going back to watching orphan black with peggy B)

 

Pegarita- yay

 

cafè caliente- you aren't even gonna say hi to your boyfriend

 

coldsoda- bye Felicia

 

_Coldsoda has left this conversation_

 

dispatch- hskjsks

 

Pegarita- i must go to my platonic love g o o d b ye 

 

cafè caliente- tell Vanessa that she's a stinker >:(

 

Pegarita- no i’m taking your girlfriend while crushing pegsnavi

 

hamilhoe- does this mean pegnessa is basically canon

 

Pegarita- it’s a platonic ship i feel no romantic love

 

bread-stick- do platonic couple things

 

Pegarita- usnavi i am platonically cuddling your girlfriend

 

cafè caliente- this is horrible im in distress

 

Skills™- he's actually sweating im

 

deservesbetter- are any of us going to try and go get peggy back 

 

cafè caliente- she’s cuddling my girlfriend let her burn

 

pegarita- im safe in her arms lmao (^:

 

hamilhoe- this is horrible

 

cafè caliente- finally we have common ground

 

Pegarita- ah yes this scene of the one otp in orphan black is great to platonically kiss vanessa

 

cafè caliente- peGGY N O

 

hamilhoe- IM SHOOK

 

Pegarita- i showed her this chat again she’s laughing so hard 

 

hamilhoe- pegnessa,, a cursed ship,,, pegsnavi is the only one , usnavi,, help me purify this relationship ,

 

cafè caliente- i hate pegsnavi with all of my being but I'm only gonna help you because I need my girlfriend back

 

hamilhoe- which one (^:

 

cafè caliente- hahdhsgdhdgsh fuck off

 

Pegarita- i feel no romantic love… only platonic love… only for vanessa

 

cafè caliente- yOU **KISSED HER**

 

Pegarita- it was only on the cheek you silly child

 

cafè caliente- **oKAY FIRST OF ALL I AM 14 YOU ARE 13 YOUNG LADY SO SHUT YOUR FUCK**

 

Pegarita- vanessa gave me ice cream. Has she given YOU ice cream?

 

cafè caliente- we’VE ONLY GONE ON ONE DATE !!

 

dispatch- i think usnavi is crying

 

Pegarita- usnavi didn’t you shove breadsticks into your pockets and run when you accidently said “vanessa i love you”

 

cafè caliente- maybe possibly but we don't talk about that

 

'angel'ica- young lady get your butt back home right this instant

 

Pegarita- can I bring vanessa with me

 

cafè caliente- NO

 

hamilhoe- NO

 

'angel'ica- sure

 

cafè caliente- nnoooOooooOoOooooOOOOooOOOOOOOO

 

Pegarita- angelica is the only authority i listen to, along with eliza

 

hamilhoe- Eliza, dear, darling Eliza, please tell peggy to not bring Vanessa

 

Deservesbetter- no we need more girls at this sleepover. Peggy bring vanessa back if it’s okay with her.

 

cafè caliente- do you guys enjoy my pain?

 

Pegarita- okay! We’re on our way! Enjoy suffering usnavi!

 

cafè caliente- ):<

 

‘Angel’ica- eliza do you think you can convince maria to come over

 

Deservesbetter- no she is convinced she needs beauty sleep even though she’s already beautiful 

 

Hamilhoe- it’s so gay but beautiful 

 

turtles- we dem gayz

 

A.Burr- I feel like I'm intruding

 

hamilhoe- don't worry burr, im sure you’re as gay as the rest of us, your day will come

 

‘Angel’ica- peggy’s home!!!!!

 

cafè caliente- heck

 

hamilhoe- _run_

 

turtles- nyoom

 

Horse- disgusting.

 

Pegarita- hey usnavi

 

cafè caliente- PEGGY DID YOU JUST KISS MY GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF ME

 

hamilhoe- tHIS ISNT HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO G O

 

turtles- well I've gotta say, they do make a cute platonic couple

 

Pegarita- vanessa thinks this is funny because i’m aroace 

 

cafè caliente- im going to be a responsible teenager and run away from my problems

 

turtles- _nyoom_

 

Pegarita- vanessa loves me platonically…. But she loves usnavi _romantically_

 

cafè caliente- but we haven't gone on long walks on the beach or dancing in the rain

 

horse- hurgk

 

turtles- im in physical pain

 

_Pegarita added coldsoda to this conversation_

 

hamilhoe- i must of drowned puppies in a previous life to deserve this

 

turtles- i wouldn't put it past you

 

hamilhoe- God dammit you’re like a contract with machinima I love you at first and then you drain my money and my soul but I'm bound to you for years and I must _suffer_

 

turtles- poetic.

 

Bread-stick- i love puppies… don’t hurt puppies

 

Horse- he’s really emotional about puppies alex

 

bread-stick- dogs give me life

 

hamilhoe- bring me to life

 

turtles- oh fuck off

 

Bread-stick- dogs are so cute i want to bloop their floof

 

hamilhoe- b loop

 

coldsoda- all of you are horrible

 

hamilhoe- well _excuseeee me_ princess

 

coldsoda- im

 

bread-stick- this chat is a train wreck

 

turtles- _we're_ all a train wreck

 

hamilhoe- ^

 

horse- ^

 

pegarita- ^

 

bread-stick- ^

 

turtles- choo choo

 

hamilhoe- why am I dating you again

 

turtles- bc you love me and i am adorable <3

 

hamilhoe- disgust

 

‘angel’ica - eww romantic affection

 

turtles- eww go date someone you nerd

 

Pegarita- platonic love is the one true love

 

‘Angel’ica- ^

 

turtles- then I, John Laurens, platonically love all turtles and want to have them all

 

Pegarita- adorable

 

hamilhoe- i, alexander Hamilton, platonically hate John Laurens, my boyfriend, he is a disgust

 

‘Angel’ica- not adorable! Only platonic love allowed!

 

horse- Angelica how do you even live, I would die if laf were to suddenly leave

 

bread-stick- awoo

 

horse- bye

 

'angel'ica- honestly that's adorable

 

horse- furries are not adorable they are the arm pits of Satan leave my house this instant

 

Bread-stick- but won’t you die

 

horse- i will die happily

 

turtles- bark

 

horse- no! Get away!

 

deservesbetter- but your nickname is horse

 

horse- they are fine majestic creatures,, not low petty scum

 

hamilhoe- borffle

 

horse- hgurck

 

pegarita- woof

 

horse- stay back!! Im warning you!!

 

dispatch- **bark**

 

horse- this is the final straw!! All of you have betrayed me !

 

Deservesbetter- are you okay herc

 

horse- im never okay

 

Deservesbetter- hug your boyfriend

 

horse- im not gonna hug a fucking furry

 

bread-stick- n-nya

 

horse- sTOP

 

Bread-stick- how could you hurt me like this

 

hamilhoe- rawr X3

 

horse- god dammit

 

Pegarita- I’ll be seeing you in court, you furries

 

deservesbetter- *glomps you* OwO no you won't

 

horse- y’ALL NEED TO GO TO CHURCH

 

Pegarita- My name is Margarita “Peggy” Schuyler. I represent Hercules Mulligan as prosecution in the case Mulligan vs Furries. Animals, are great. That we all know, but my client, Hercules Mulligan, would beg you, please, don’t be a furry. I will prove to you that, furries, should be illegal. You will hear from Mr. Mulligan who will tell you his experiences with these “furries”.

 

horse- ahem, furries fucking suck and my boyfriend is gross

 

Turtles- *slams gavel* order in the furourt

 

Pegarita- Herc, this is not how you do a trial. Now, please state your name for the court. 

 

horse- my name is Hercules mulligan and I want my boyfriend to Stop

 

Pegarita- Herc you are going to get us an objection. Now, please state your age.

 

horse- 17

 

hamilhoe- he's 420 your honor

 

Pegarita- Objection, that’s irrelevant. 

 

Turtles- uh, not overruled?

 

Pegarita- you mean sustained. Anyways, Mister Mulligan, you have a boyfriend, right?

 

horse- im gonna dump his furry ass, but yes, I do

 

Pegarita- What is his name?

 

horse- very long and French, we just call him laf

 

Pegarita- Please state his full name for the court.

 

horse- Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de La Fayette, Marquis de La Fayette

 

hamilhoe- christ

 

Pegarita- Thank you. Now, is your boyfriend a furry?

 

Coldsoda- Objection, your honor, that’s an opinionated question.

 

Pegarita - Vanessa how could you

 

Coldsoda - >:)

 

Pegarita- anyways, that is not an opinionated question, as I was preparing to move to admit something to evidence. Your honor, may I approach the witness?

 

Coldsoda- no we’re still in objection phase

 

Turtles- Overruled, go and approach the witness.

 

Pegarita- Hercules, do you recognize this?

 

Horse- peggy this is a group chat 

 

Pegarita- this is also a court of law >:(

 

Turtles- i want to _see_ this evidence

 

Pegarita- [imagine a picture of a closet with a fursuit in it. That’s the picture peggy has sent.]  
Now, Mr. Mulligan, do you recognize this? 

 

Horse- it’s my closet, but with lafayette’s fursuit

 

Pegarita- your honor i move to admit this into evidence

 

Turtles- sure why not

 

Pegarita- no further questions, your honor

 

Coldsoda- I am DEFENSE therefore, Mr. Mulligan, I have QUESTIONs for YOU.

 

hamilhoe- gsgdhfjf herc why do you let laf keep his fursuit in ur closet

 

Horse- i didn’t

 

Bread-stick- where was i SUPPOSED to put the fursuit

 

Horse- in the trash

 

turtles- oooooooooo

 

hamilhoe- gET FUCKONG **WRECKED**

 

turtles- fuckong

 

hamilhoe- this is bullying

 

turtles- if you actually took the time to write this wouldn't happen ://

 

Horse- what if our lives are all just a lie

 

Bread-stick- are you okay

 

Horse- no i’m having an existential crisis

turtles- uh

 

Horse- what if really we all lived in a past life and fought in a war and were famous people

 

hamilhoe- yyeeeaahhh, sure, take a reality check herc

 

Pegarita- herc are you okay

 

Horse- no  
I haven't slept in 24 hours

 

hamilhoe- weak

 

Bread-stick: >:0 SLEEP

 

Cafè caliente- also speaking of sleep alex you haven't slept in like.. 3 days? How are you alive

 

turtles- don't

 

hamilhoe- well my friend, I would like to introduce you to the man made wonder known as coffee

 

Cafè caliente- i  
coffee is literally in my screen name  
**I go to Starbucks daily**

 

hamilhoe- you actually _drink_ that corporate crap?

 

Pegarita- don’t forget that coffee candy you sell

 

cafè caliente- shhh that's supposed to be a dead business venture now

 

Skills™- but you were literally in the hallway yesterday tossing all of it to the 6th graders

 

cafè caliente- SHHHHHHHSHSHHHSHSH

 

Pegarita- did you leave those days behind so you could raise a family

 

dispatch- he’s a criminal

 

cafè caliente- im trying to stop okay  
Anyways sonny I have dirt on you so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Pegarita- heck don’t i still owe you the candy money 

 

'angel'ica- look I hate to break the drug candy lord business here but like is Hercules actually okay

 

Horse- im dead inside

 

Pegarita- do you require a hug

 

deservesbetter- WHERE in the WORLD is your FURRY boyfriend

 

Bread-stick- i’m buying him candy and i’m stuck in the walmart checkout line

 

turtles- did u go to Walmart in your fursuit

 

bread-stick- STOP IT

 

Horse- no he didn’t but he’s wearing cat ears

 

Bread-stick- ssssssSSSSSHHHH

 

turtles- i

 

hamilhoe- really

 

Bread-stick- ITS JUST A BEANIE OKAY JE VOUS DÉTESTE TOUS

 

Horse- it came with a matching cat tail belt thing

 

Skills™- excuse me but  
_Cafè caliente, Today_  
>Anyways sonny I have dirt on you so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**bitch where**

 

Cafè caliente- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Skills™- **buddy,**

 

dispatch- C¯\\_(ツ)_/¯f¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ c¯\\_(ツ)_/¯l¯\\_(ツ)_/¯¯\\_(ツ)_/¯nt¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

cafè caliente- im suing

 

Pegarita- why we fight

 

deservesbetter- because life is unfair

 

Pegarita- >:/

 

deservesbetter- ( : ( : ( :

 

'angel'ica- stop it you two

 

pegarita- but mother sestra 

 

‘Angel’ica- i will fight you

 

Hamilhoe- fight me mommy sestra

 

turtles- DO NOT

 

Horse- kinky

 

Deservesbetter- disgusting  
speaking of y’all wheres burr

 

'angel'ica- y'all being mean to him even though he's not online (seriously where is he)

 

Pegarita- burr did nothing wrong

 

dispatch- why are y'all using the word y’all so much y ‘ a l l

 

cafè caliente- y’all y'all y’all y'all

 

Horse- stop it

 

Hamilhoe-  
_deservesbetter, Today_  
> disgusting  
speaking of y’all wheres burr

 

Aaron is at my apartment >:^)

 

Bread-stick- finally, the walmart checkout line has Freed me. I have candy, nya’ll >:3

 

Horse- i  
im banning use of the words “y’all” and “nya’ll”right now this very instant

 

Bread-stick- nya :3

 

Horse- noo!!!

 

'angel'ica-  
_hamilhoe, Today_  
> Aaron is at my apartment >:^)

 

?? Your’s and John's apartment?? why

 

Turtles- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

bread-stick- :3 ;3 >:3

 

Horse- i ban :3 and ;3 and >:3 right now

 

pegarita- even I object to this furry behavior

 

'angel'ica- Alex answer me you shit

 

hamilhoe- **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 

'angel'ica- >:(

 

_Hamilhoe > 'angel'ica_

 

hamilhoe- ayo

 

'angel'ica- explain

 

hamilhoe- do u want the short or long version

 

'angel'ica- ??? Long

 

Hamilhoe- okay so,

 

Hamilhoe- i went back to my apartment to pick up some stuff for the sleepover and Aaron and john wanted to get out too so I took them, and, gdhdgshd oh god, okay so we started to talk about relationships and stuff and how burr’s pursuits w/ Theodosia were going but it turns out Theodosia is already dating some dude from the high school across town and aaron was Sad so like?? john and I tried to comfort him and we kinda didn't know what to do?

 

hamilhoe- then we got to my apartment and they both came in and like Aaron asked us how we got together and you already know that story but we just told him it was a lot of self discovery and confession about sexuality and stuff and?? The wildest part?? Aaron was like “well idk but I've done a bit of researching and?? I think I may be panromantic and asexual and stuff?” And like of course John and I were happy for him but internally I was like oh No

 

hamilhoe- like u know how super gay I am and u kno I have the stupidest crush on him and I stg I started to s w e a t and then the Worst Part Happened. like. he said “yeah I and think I may like 2 people and I feel horrible” and I was like “no??? Thats perfectly okay?? Also tell me who ( : “ and oh my gosh he got super flustered he was so so cute I Almost cried

 

hamilhoe- he was like “ghddhdh ah, please don't take this the wrong way, but. maybe you two.” and that's when I finally died and got sent to hell and I was Wowza for a while and aaron was Super Embarrassed and I was about to say “hell yeah let's date boy” but then I was like shit what about John but like then he was like “Oh No Same” and i actually cried!! Like I'm too gay for this shit Angelica Help Me

 

Hamilhoe- long story short John and I are dating aaron now and we might be laying on my bed rn w h o o p s

 

'angel'ica- oh

 

Hamilhoe- sorry for the long winded-ness but you wanted the long version so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

'angel'ica- oh my gosh that's so cute wth  
im telling everyone immediately

 

hamilhoe- huh

 

hamilhoe- wAIT NO

 

'angel'ica- ( :

 

hamilhoe- I THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES

 

‘Angel’ica- of course we are  
I just like to share my Best Friend's relationship status ( :

 

hamilhoe- don't do this

 

'angel'ica- ( :

 

hamilhoe- Angelica

 

'angel'ica- ( :

 

Hamilhoe- Angelica what did you do

 

'angel'ica- ( :

 

Hamilhoe- ANGELICA

 

_'angel'ica- > A.Burr, hamilhoe, turtles, horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, dispatch, Skills, café caliente_

 

'angel'ica- y’all,

 

horse- oh no

 

hamilhoe- ANGELICA N O

 

_**G E T T H O S E L I G H T S O F F** _

 

‘Angel’ica- ( :

 

Alex and john are dating burr

 

_hamilhoe has ejected 'angel'ica from this conversation_

 

horse- i

 

bread-stick- quelle

 

turtles- aLEX WHAT DID YOU DO

 

deservesbetter- oh my god

 

pegarita- what did my dear sister do

 

Deservesbetter- angelica x happiniess

 

cafè caliente- _w h a t_

 

dispatch- who

 

Skills™- whom

 

cafè caliente- jsshdjsn

 

horse- kdjcjfjfskjdfm

 

is this true

 

hamilhoe- hjfc

 

uh?  
no

 

horse- *eye emoji*

 

Hamilhoe- i have done nothing wrong ever

 

pegarita- case 1: pegsnavi

 

hamilhoe- but

 

horse- **okay but seriously are you**

 

Hamilhoe- this is personal information shut your hole herc

 

Turtles- *eye emoji* are yooou

 

Hamilhoe- shut your **heck**

 

deservesbetter- im in tears Angelica showed me everything

 

hamilhoe- W H A T

 

deservesbetter- you guys are so cute

 

hamilhoe- **N O**

 

this is it

 

im ruined

 

Skills™- you were ruined from the day u were born

 

hamilhoe- shut the fuck up

 

dispatch- oH jeez

 

turtles- **_A L E X_**

 

hamilhoe- Oh my god

 

_deservesbetter added 'angel'ica to this conversation_

 

hamilhoe- you are a mythic bitch

 

'angel'ica- just spreading the love (:

 

horse- ghshdh

 

horse- you’ll be spreading your legs for burr next

 

hamilhoe- _**hdnddjdjskxjfm**_

 

_hamilhoe has left the conversation_

 

pegarita- im sobbing

 

turtles- Angelica why would you do this. betray me

 

horse- so its true then (^:,`

 

turtles- god!! Okay!! Yes!! It is!! Shut up!

 

bread-stick- holy sh it

 

cafè caliente- wheezinf

 

Pegarita- all around me are familiar faces  
worn out places, worn out faces

 

Horse- is everyone in this chat fucking dead inside

 

cafè caliente- wake me up inside

 

dispatch- wake _burr_ up inside what the fuck

 

Skills™- are nya'll fucking yet

 

turtles- hadhsjejdnckekskxkcmsksj

 

horse- blocked. Blocked. All of you are blocked.

 

Pegarita- calm down there sonny

 

deservesbetter- is alex okay

 

turtles- i mean

 

like he's happy but?? Also hysterically crying is that bad

 

Horse- my dude,

 

Turtles- also burr has a face of disgust

 

'angel'ica- i cant fuckgin b reathe

 

dispatch- sobbing 

 

bread-stick- poor burr

 

turtles- shut your fuck Mr,

 

deservesbetter- no seriously is he okay I'm concerned

 

turtles- . yes

 

deservesbetter- ://

 

horse- sweaty

 

Skills™- you’re gonna ban nya’ll and :3 but use sweaty?? disgraceful.

 

deservesbetter- let burr have a say in this

 

turtles- he doesn't have his phone

 

deservesbetter- then where is it ?

 

A.burr- lol lol xdd hi im bur gay boy

 

horse- who

 

deservesbetter- does. does someone have burr’s phone

 

A.burr- kek kek kek top meme

 

Pegarita- no definitely not that’s the real burr right there

 

'angel'ica- **peggy**

 

im gonna find you and whoop your butt I stg

 

pegarita- no it's not me I swear on alan

 

cafè caliente- Peggy wouldn't say that unless she wanted to die by my hands so she's telling the truth

 

horse- well shit

 

dispatch- praise alan

 

cafè caliente- shut up

 

dispatch- rude.

 

A.burr- succ

 

deservesbetter- seriously who has his phone

 

A.burr- qqqqqqqqqqqweqwqqqqqqqqqqqqqawq1

 

horse- the fuck

 

A.Burr- who has my phone? I don’t have my phone. What’s a phone?

 

'angel'ica- where was it last

 

A.burr- my ass

 

horse- im in tears

 

turtles- honestly Aaron would probably say this

 

horse- oooo first name base already ((; u go tiger 

 

Turtles- you hecking shit fuck 

 

Cafè caliente- god dammit  
im gonna mcfucking leave im going to Vanessa's 

 

A.burr- HAHAH p w ho

 

Cafè caliente- im

 

A.burr- yea don't go bby <3

 

bread-stick- jesus

 

cafè caliente- i think. I know who has his phone

 

A.burr- no

 

_cafè caliente added coldsoda to this conversation_

 

cafè caliente- ( :

 

sweaty

 

Coldsoda- the heck do you want you small hecker

 

cafè caliente- you and only you would say “top meme” like c'mon 

 

'angel'ica- w h at

 

Coldsoda- i have done nothing wrong, usnavi

 

cafè caliente- babe seriously

 

Coldsoda- peggy have i done anything wrong here

 

Pegarita- no

 

Coldsoda- see?

 

pegarita- my lovely platonic girlfriend would never tell a lie

 

cafè caliente- okay Pinocchio

 

coldsoda- ):

 

deservesbetter- is this true

 

coldsoda- no

 

turtles- i will beat you up vanessa I stg

 

horse- violent, let's take it down a notch

 

cafè caliente- nyanessa, tell us the truth

 

coldsoda- **stop using that nickname**

 

cafè caliente- **then tell us the truth**

 

Pegarita- stop hurting my platonic girlfriend, usnyavi

 

cafè caliente- im in your driveway  
p,eggy please

 

coldsoda- no!!!

 

cafè caliente- **let me in**

 

Pegarita- **STOP THIS AT ONCE, USNYAVI**

 

deservesbetter- is this even real

 

bread-stick- nya better believe it honey,

 

horse- what the fuck  
Im surrounded by furries

 

Bread-stick- i can’t fit nya into your name fuck  
Snercules  
There you’re a snake furry now

 

horse- What no

 

if I was a furry I'd be an ox or bull get your facts straight

 

bread-stick- so you've thought about this before

 

Turtles- herc is a horse furry wtf

 

cafè caliente- succules

 

horse- fuck off

 

deservesbetter- did you get burr’s phone back yet usnavi

 

A.burr- no he hasn't hahaha

 

cafè caliente- i got into Vanessa's house im gonna grab it rn brb

 

dispatch- oh boy

 

Skills™- I'll have 911 on speedial

 

Pegarita- ELIZA YOU GOTTA HELP ME SAVE VANESSA

 

deservesbetter- no.

 

pegarita- you are no longer my sister

 

‘Angel’ica- PEGGY COME ON LET’S GO SAVE YOUR PLATONIC GIRLFRIEND

 

deservesbetter- ??? Angelica no

 

‘Angel’ica- angelica yes

 

turtles- Angelica **no**

 

'angel'ica- **im doing it**

 

Pegarita- COME ON ANGELICA LET’S SAVE VANESSA

 

‘Angel’ica- heck yeck

 

deservesbetter- who are you and what have you done with the sister I know and love

 

‘Angel’ica- if you had to save your girlfriend’s ass i would help you

 

deservesbetter- well I'm not gonna save your goblin ass anymore

 

horse- ABSOLUTE MAD MAN

 

_turtles has added hamilhoe to this conversation_

 

turtles- please help us

 

hamilhoe- i cant

 

horse- wheeze

 

bread-stick- you have some explaining to do Mon ami

 

Hamilhoe- how about i don’t explain and you guys make up a cool story for me

 

horse- vanessa stole burr's phone and is causing havoc with it, the schuyler sisters have broken their sisterly bond, and usnavi is probably going to die

 

hamilhoe- haha nice one

 

horse- its the truth

 

hamilhoe- what  
It's only been 20 minutes wtf

 

Coldsoda- so guys i’m alive

 

horse- wait fuck what

 

Skills™- usnavi lost, let us mourn

 

cafè caliente- no im fine actually

 

coldsoda- bitch.

 

deservesbetter- so do you have his phone

 

cafè caliente- sort of

 

hamilhoe- uh

 

cafè caliente- vanessa won't give it to me but I have it

 

deservesbetter- so you don't have It

 

cafè caliente- exactly.

 

turtles- vanessa please 

 

coldsoda- I only will it peggy comes over

 

pegarita- deal

 

cafè caliente- no wait that's a bad idea,

 

pegarita- **its a deal**

 

‘Angel’ica- it’s a great idea shut your heck usnavi

 

horse- im officially banning “heck”

 

cafè caliente- thats like 40% of peggy’s vocabulary

 

hamilhoe- hhh

 

deservesbetter- you doing okay alex

 

hamilhoe- no

 

deservesbetter- John you LIED to me, you come into my house, eat my food, then piss on my carpet, how could you

 

turtles- uhh  
brb

 

deservesbetter- fucker

 

pegarita- ??? alex what is wrong

 

A.burr- BOI

 

cafè caliente- VANESSA

 

'angel'ica- aren't you guys literally just sitting next to each other

 

cafè caliente- yes,

 

pegarita- vanessa my dear I am almost there

 

cafè caliente- no no peggy c'mon don't do this to me

 

pegarita- >:3c

 

horse- sTOP IT

 

'angel'ica- okay but I was looking back in chat and  
_hamilhoe, today_  
> don't worry burr, im sure you’re as gay as the rest of us, your day will come

 

turtles- stop this

 

'angel'ica- also  
_cafè caliente, today_  
> im trying to stop okay  
Anyways sonny I have dirt on you so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**Spill**

 

cafè caliente- well since we’re talking about relationships,

 

Skills™- wait,  
Usnavi no

 

cafè caliente- there is a certain person sonny likes ((:

 

Skills™- nO  
you will no longer be my cousin if you do this

 

pegarita- tell me

 

dispatch- whoooo

 

Skills™- all of you are horrible

 

cafè caliente- (;

 

bread-stick- mon ami,, tell us who he has a crush on, 

 

horse- expose him

 

turtles- ajdjs

 

cafè caliente- ( :

 

Skills™- stop this 

 

cafè caliente- y’all know graffiti Pete right

 

Skills™- S T O P

 

pegarita- oh my gosh

 

dispatch- im screaminjs

 

Skill™- usnavi discontinue at once 

 

cafè caliente- guess who was holding hand with him in the hallway Friday ((:  
yes I saw you

 

Skills™- you are no longer my cousin bye

 

'angel'ica- how the fuck are all of you getting into relationships so quickly

 

Deservesbetter- these children don’t know better shush angelica, let them have fun

 

turtles- the power of Gay™

 

deservesbetter- that too

 

dispatch- that's really fucking cute tho gg sonny

 

Skills™- this is it. This is how I die.

 

deservesbetter- okay but back to my main topic seriously is alex doing okay

 

turtles- well,

 

deservesbetter- ???

 

_turtles has left this conversation_

 

horse- wth

 

pegarita- alright time for the comfort squad  
Alex my dude what the heck is wrong, do I have to punch someone

 

hamilhoe- ,

 

'angel'ica- buddy,

 

horse- laf is wearing his cat beanie and tail again I'm going to kick him out

 

bread-stick- n-nya know you love me

 

horse- shit

 

Bread-stick- you have candy enjoy yourself

 

horse- i already have,

 

'angel'ica- you are all of it already?

 

horse- i am a Hungry man  
also do _not_ say anything but laf is low-key cute in his furry shit okay

 

dispatch- FURRY FURRY FURRY FURRY FURRY

 

horse- stop!!!!!

 

Skills™- rawr means I love you in dinosaur

 

horse- alright that's the final straw

 

Bread-stick- rawr :3

 

_horse has ejected Skills™ from this conversation_

 

bread-stick- treason!

 

cafè caliente- ://

 

_cafè caliente has added Skills™ to this conversation_

 

pegarita- herc im fighting you

 

deservesbetter- brb y’all

 

horse- stop with the y’all’s!!

 

deservesbetter- never (;

 

_deservesbetter > hamilhoe_

 

deservesbetter- what's wrong dude

 

hamilhoe- arjrjr ah  
I just feel Horrible  
you really wouldn't understand

 

deservesbetter- sure I would, try me

 

hamilhoe- no, you really, really wouldn't

 

deservesbetter- alex please, you can trust me

 

hamilhoe- how can I

 

deservesbetter- what??

 

hamilhoe- you and angelica spreading that shit _specifically_ when I asked you not to and then laughing about it moments later _are you fucking delirious_

 

deservesbetter- i

 

hamilhoe- and not to mention the fact that really _no one else_ even relatively gives a shit about my privacy nor do they have the fucking thought to consider their actions

 

deservesbetter- alex im sorry

 

hamilhoe- how is sorry gonna fix this fucking mess?? Are you serious?? Can you imagine how I feel?

 

deservesbetter- no, no I wouldn't be able to imagine how you feel because _im not you_ and yes I'm truly deeply sorry and angelica and were being stupid and I know there's no reversing that but please please calm down

 

hamilhoe- _calm down???_

 

deservesbetter- look, alex… im just trying to help

 

hamilhoe- no _you_ look! I just maybe want to share one fucking private shitty little thing about my god awful life that maybe even _one_ of you could at least have the grace to at least **pretend** to care about, okay? I fucking know we’re all 'dear friends’ and all but at least treat me with the respect I deserve

 

deservesbetter- …  
is this how you really feel about us

 

hamilhoe- at the moment, unfortunately, yes

 

deservesbetter- god you are such an _asshole_

 

hamilhoe- _excuse me?_

 

deservesbetter- you know im trying to fucking help and I'm not good at helping!! And I can't help the fact they you’re going through some shit rn okay, but you can acknowledge that we do all really care okay, what is wrong?? Please please alex this isn't what you normally act like

 

hamilhoe- you wanna know something? Im _tired_. Im so so tired of all of it

 

deservesbetter-.. what do you mean ?

 

hamilhoe- this!! Everything!! My life is in a downward spiral of nothing and i have nothing to look forward to, the people I love make me happy but for what? For it to come to a bitter end? Fuck that

 

deservesbetter- alex you’re scaring me

 

hamilhoe- you should be! EVERYTHING is going wrong okay, I can't fucking sleep or feel or breath and i feel like I'm constantly drowning in nothing 

 

deservesbetter- alex..

 

hamilhoe- its not even worth it  
like I told you you wouldn't understand

 

deservesbetter- …

 

hamilhoe- just forget we even had this conversation

 

deservesbetter- how?

 

hamilhoe- delete it. Block me. I dont care how just forget about it

 

deservesbetter- you just spilled your guts to me and you just expect me to drop it?

 

hamilhoe- ..yes?

 

deservesbetter- no??? alex i really really care okay, I.. 

 

are you in a safe space rn

 

hamilhoe- oh my god are you serious

 

deservesbetter- ??

 

hamilhoe- if you actually think I'm going to hurt myself don't worry, I don't succumb to that kind of stuff

 

deservesbetter- well where are burr and john

 

hamilhoe- they’re in the living room

 

deservesbetter- can you maybe try and talk to them about it?? i know talking over text helps vent and stuff but I'm sure talking to them would help..

 

hamilhoe- not really  
i just. Can't focus. Texting helps bc I can go back and see what I'm saying, you know?

 

deservesbetter- i guess not

 

hamilhoe- im sorry you have to deal with me

 

deservesbetter- alex please never be sorry for talking to me or for you to be yourself please please

 

hamilhoe- it's not okay though, it never is

 

deservesbetter- just.. please stay safe, talk to John, or aaron, anyone, okay? Please. We care

 

hamilhoe- sure

 

deservesbetter- right, talk to you later.

 

hamilhoe- Right.

 

_deservesbetter > hamilhoe, A.Burr, 'Angel'ica, horse, bread-stick, pegarita, dispatch, Skills™, café caliente, cold soda_

 

horse- i stg im blocking all of you

 

Skills™- block me harder ((;

 

_hamilhoe has left this conversation_

 

horse- ?

 

'angel'ica- Eliza what happened

 

deservesbetter- uhh  
nothing  
don't ask

 

'angel'ica- um  
I mean okay

 

horse- …

 

cafè caliente- guess who got burr’s phone back and is running for his life

 

pegarita- im assuming you

 

cafè caliente- yeah maybe

 

cold soda- the only solution is murder

 

bread-stick- woah woah calm down there

 

cold soda- **sacrifice**

 

cafè caliente- gotta blast

 

dispatch- wheezinf

 

Skills™- normally i’d tell usnavi to run faster, but now i’m telling vanessa and peggy to throw usnyavi into hell

 

Coldsoda- thanks sonny

 

Pegarita- beep beep murder train coming through

 

Dispatch- peggy that’s not the sound of a train

 

Pegarita- **beep beep murder train coming through**

 

Coldsoda- **beep beep**

 

Dispatch- choo choo

 

Pegarita- blocked

 

cafè caliente- murdered by murder train I am

 

Skills™- Finally,  
where u at

 

cafè caliente- i honestly have no clue

 

cold soda- perfect

 

cafè caliente- u h

 

dispatch- i cant believe usnyavi is dead

 

cafè caliente- stop saying that!!

 

dispatch- sometimes I can still hear his voice

 

cafè caliente- Stop It You Fucking Furry

 

Pegarita- murder train catching up! Beep beep you little fuckstick

 

Horse- i agree with usnavi here, Stop

 

Pegarita- next stop on the murder train: herc

 

bread-stick- wait is peggy dearest the murder train

 

horse- probably, also, im too pretty to die

 

bread-stick- ^^^ <3

 

'angel'ica- ugh

 

horse- you just like to ruin young free love huh

 

'angel'ica- ):<  
i am bitter

 

Pegarita- mother-sestra i am The Murder Train are your proud

 

'angel'ica- only if you murder usnavi

 

Pegarita- **On My Way, Choo Choo**

 

cafè caliente- shit

 

Deservesbetter- when will the madness end

 

horse- why would you ask such a question in this chat

 

deservesbetter- i just wanna be fighting and discourse free

 

horse- ?? When was there discourse

 

'angel'ica- w/ Madison

 

horse- oh yeah  
uh  
has anyone checked on him

 

'angel'ica- come again? His crusty ass can go sit in a ditch for all i care

 

horse- u h,

 

deservesbetter- what angelica dearest is trying to say is yes we would Love to see how Madison is doing but not right now and nowhere in the foreseeable future

 

Pegarita- did someone request a ride with the **murder train**

 

horse- no!!! No one did

 

bread-stick- i think herc wanted a ride

 

horse- you shit

 

bread-stick- ( :

 

Pegarita- you gotta pay for the murder train tickets, 20 bucks

 

horse- im a broke highschooler  
ask laf he's fucking rich

 

cafè caliente- please don't murder me then take my measly cash

 

Pegarita- at least my business isn’t selling candy to 6th graders

 

cafè caliente- I've given up that life shut your filthy hole

 

'angel'ica- do you think we should add jefferson in

 

deservesbetter- uhh if you want

 

horse- i hope hes okay after yesterday

 

'angel'ica- me too

 

_'angel'ica has added imalwaysright to this conversation_

 

cafè caliente- nyello

 

imalwaysright- ?? What is it.

 

Pegarita- do you require the murder train

 

dispatch- peggy shut it

 

pegarita- ))):

 

'angel'ica- we're just checking in

 

imalwaysright- I’m doing fine.

 

'angel'ica- you sure?

 

imalwaysright- positive.  
uh, message me if you hear from mads though, bye.

 

_imalwaysright has left this conversation_

 

Pegarita- i want to hug him and tell him it’s gonna be okay

 

deservesbetter- yikes

 

Skills™- nyaikes

 

horse- that doesn't even make sense fuck all of you

 

_hamilhoe > 'angel'ica_

 

hamilhoe- just letting you know john and aaron and I are on our way back

 

'angel'ica- okay, do you want me to add you back to the group

 

hamilhoe- if you want to

 

_'angel'ica > horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, dispatch, Skills™, café caliente, cold soda, A.Burr_

 

_'angel'ica has added hamilhoe and turtles to this conversation_

 

horse- oh shit

 

cafè caliente- welcome back fuckos, im about to be murdered

 

hamilhoe- great

 

dispatch- lmao

 

cafè caliente- Hercules is the only sensible one here

 

horse- god bless

 

_deservesbetter > hamilhoe_

 

deservesbetter- you doing a bit better now?

 

hamilhoe- yeah, I just had to air out my thoughts for a while

 

deservesbetter- im glad, we all really care about you alex

 

hamilhoe- I know,,

 

deservesbetter- how’s burr doing

 

hamilhoe- im doing good

 

hamilhoe- dhj$8j

 

hamilhoe- sorry he took my phone for a second

 

Deservesbetter- gay  
im assuming you guys are almost here

 

hamilhoe- we got a bit sidetracked but yeah

 

deservesbetter- are you sure you’re okay?

 

hamilhoe- _yes_

 

deservesbetter- okay, okay, sorry

 

hamilhoe- sneofj 

 

deservesbetter- burr stop it

 

hamilhoe- :p

 

hamilhoe- see ya

 

_'angel'ica > horse, bread-stick, deservesbetter, pegarita, dispatch, Skills™, café caliente, cold soda, turtles, hamilhoe_

 

deservesbetter- Angelica I think our sleepover can now be resumed

 

horse- god bless long weekends

 

Pegarita- >:D

 

'angel'ica- almost all of us have been in the same house all morning why haven't we been talking to each other

 

dispatch- why would we

 

'angel'ica- why _wouldn't_ we

 

cafè caliente- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

horse- that’s what i like to call  
friendship

 

cafè caliente- or just being lazy idk

 

Skills™- same  
also are you still at Vanessa's house

 

cafè caliente- i left a while ago you dullard

 

'angel'ica- do you need me to come pick you up

 

Cafè caliente- … maybe

 

Skills™- im laughifn

 

Pegarita- angelica can you pick me up too the murder train is lost

 

'angel'ica- sure sister dearest

 

dispatch- woah woah hold on peggy and usnavi in the same car isn't a good thing

 

pegarita- we’ll murder each other, but you can't blame me

 

cafè caliente- what have I done??

 

pegarita- Everything

 

cafè caliente- thats extremely vague

 

pegarita- ((:

 

'angel'ica- alright I'm gonna pick those 2 up, don't stir up a storm while im gone

 

horse- trust us we won't

 

'angel'ica- :// somehow I don't believe that

 

Breadstick- :3

 

horse- blocked!!

 

'angel'ica- bye

 

_'angel'ica has left this conversation_

 

horse- well,

 

dispatch- we’ve been inside all day can we go out and do something when alex and everyone else gets back

 

Pegarita- you can't run from the murder train 

 

dispatch- ))):

 

deservesbetter- stop scaring everyone

 

pegarita- you’re no fun :o(

 

deservesbetter- that's the point,

 

pegarita- i say we should go the bowling alley

 

horse- for once peggy has a good idea

 

pegarita- banned

 

bread-stick- if we do I am bringing along jefferson

 

pegarita- agreed

 

deservesbetter- well I think I see Alex's car on the street

 

dispatch- shit there’s Angelica's

 

pegarita- **time for the murder train**

 

deservesbetter- there will be no murdering in this house young woman

 

pegarita- >:(

 

deservesbetter- im gonna sob alex and john and burr are so cute  
speaking of  
im gonna invite maria

 

horse- hella

 

turtles- **Hey You Fucks**

 

horse- aaannnd we’re back

 

deservesbetter- good times (‘:

 

_deservesbetter has added 'angel'ica to this conversation_  
_deservesbetter has ejected cold soda from this conversation_

 

pegarita- rude

 

'angel'ica- come on kids we’re leaving

 

hamilhoe- already?

 

cafè caliente- im gonna go give burr his phone

 

hamilhoe- god bless

 

A.Burr- Hello all.

 

pegarita- we’re back in business baby

 

dispatch- let's leave already!! Bowling can't wait for this Mean Green Bowling Machine

 

Cafè caliente- it definitely can

 

dispatch- >:(

 

'angel'ica- y’all be quiet and get in

 

pegarita- i call riding with usnavi

 

cafè caliente- noooooooo

 

pegarita- ( :

 

'angel’ica- im only gonna say it one more time

 

hamilhoe- we’re coming!

 

horse- laf and i will meet you up after we pick up jefferson

 

'angel'ica- im gonna get going with some of you shits

 

pegarita- momther-sestra

 

'angel'ica- don't call me that

 

Hamilhoe- the schuyler sinners

 

 

 

_'angel'ica has left this conversation_  
_deservesbetter has left this conversation_  
_pegarita has left this conversation_  
_hamilhoe has left this conversation_  
_turtles has left this conversation_  
_A.Burr has left this conversation_  
_horse has left this conversation_  
_bread-stick has left this conversation_  
_dispatch has left this conversation_  
_Skills™ has left this conversation_  
_cafè caliente has left this conversation_  
_chat terminated_  
_Good Afternoon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs my filthy gremlin hands together* here it is, I'm so sorry that this took so long. School has been super stressful and just tons of shits gone on, but fluffy and i stuck with it. Hopefully we'll be able to post a new chapter soon about Christmas (if we can write it in time) 
> 
> Have a good day, nya'll - Mnmix


End file.
